I make myself home in the bilateral section of this wonderful site.
May I introduce myself: German, female, 56, living in China since 2006. Hobbies: painting and riding motorbikes to the beautiful countryside of China. Otherwise I am not sportive; retired architect.
My count down to surgery has started. I will fly to Hong Kong 02.01.2014 and the "theater time" will be 03.01.2014. Bilateral, BHR, same time, Dr. Jason Brockwell.
I am supported through my fantastic partner in life, Thomas.
I am so happy, that I found you all! Even, with the best partner at my side, sometimes it is great to have people like you to talk about the nerves, fear, what it takes to jump to the "other side".
Sabine
Good for you Sabine! I have had both my hips done although a 3 year gap in between. So HAPPY that it's all finally over! You will be too. I am sure that having them both done at the same time Is probably the way to go. I wish that I'd done the same. It's not nearly as bad as one conjures up in one's mind, just patience!!!! That for me has really been the hardest part. you will be back on your bike before you know it! very good luck on the 3rd and please keep us posted
Sharleen
Today I was riding my BMW G650GS, 20 degree C, blue sky and the last colorful leaves swinging in a soft breeze. I took in every moment to remember. This is my goal for comming spring.
Now, mounting my bike is like "a seal stranded on the beach". I always have, for the bystanders, an apology smile on my face.I dont know why I do this. It is not my fault. Sometimes I think: Hey you guys! Keep your pity and try to mount this bike with both hips gone!
Hello China Lady, I had bilateral 2 weeks ago and just returned from my first mile walk with a cane. Fully load bearing use cane mostly for balance. Deciding to do both at same time was definitely the right decision for me as I am self employed and I only have to deal with one recovery and it is going really well. Good Luck
Hi China Lady,
I am a bilateral, but all of fourteen years between! Am almost nine weeks post-op for the second of these.
I ride a BMW R1200RT. It has a very wide tank, so I had the same embarrassing manoeuvres to get on it, then great discomfort after about an hour riding. I am going to take it out for the first time since the op this week.
I remember that it was one of the best things after my first surgery. Everything felt so easy and smooth!
What a great new year for you! All the best for your surgery.
David
QuoteI ride a BMW R1200RT. It has a very wide tank, so I had the same embarrassing manoeuvres to get on it, then great discomfort after about an hour riding. I am going to take it out for the first time since the op this week.
be careful! I just talked to Becky, she will be my Physio Therapist. when she just saw me dismounting my bike in front of the clinic, she explained, that this sideway twist on the left leg is the problem for new hips.
this days I make myself busy with post-op preparations. today I went to the small supermarket inside our compound an made a lot of photos from all the items I usually buy. later I can order my groceries by mail. they deliver directly on the kitchen table.
I'm wondering if the sideways twist is more of a threat to those who have a THR. The reason most of us choose the HR is so that there are no restrictions once you're back up to full strength.
(Just a thought).
As I understood it, it is only in the first weeks, later no problem.
This BMW Bikes are really high. Even mine with a low seat. Imagine, you want to sit on something which is as high as your groin. (I am 1.82m). You stand close to the bikes left side. Rise your right leg and swing it over the seat. Meanwhile your left leg takes all the weight und torsion, minimum 90 degrees to the left.
While riding, you stop at the lights, shifting gears ..... your legs are spread wide, you rise your feet/ lower leg to do this. That is even for a not disabeled person a strain of mucles
Welcome China Lady!
We have a few things in common - female, 56, I am a bilateral, you are a soon-to-be bilateral, but I do not ride a motorcycle! ;)
I am almost 8 weeks out from my second and to-date, doing great! My first was done 2 1/2 years ago. Although I don't ride, but I think I'm doing well enough to get on one and feel comfortable! ;D
This is a great site and I'm glad you found us! We'll be watching for your progress report in March! In the meantime, stay as active as you can and healthy eating to keep you strong!
thank you for your nice welcome! March is only 11 weeks in the future.
I just read your recovery story. you do a fine job!!!!
Welcome to the site! As a bi hippy, I can tell you that having both done if you need it is a great relief.
Lean on us as you approach your surgery, we've been there and get it.
For sure, I will lean on you all, I already do!
Today, while doing my duty as a housewife, I noticed how many different moves I still can perform with my damaged hips.
Pick up something from the floor with the knees straight
Bending and twisting while reloading the dishwasher
Carry a heavy load while watering my plants
Making funny movements to pull up my long stockings I need because of DVT danger
Leaving the toilet after use
Same goes with the bathtub
............
Knowing that I will have some restrictions after surgery, today I really started to notice what I do with my body without erver thinking about
I hope things are going well and your preparation is proceeding as well.
Have a happy (western) new years and good luck on the 3rd!
I feel fine and I am still steady in my soul. When I notice, that I start worrying, I trained myself on the word "pothole". As a biker I know, that when you stare at the pothole ahead, you will hit it for sure. So, "pothole" means for me:
Raise your head
Look straight at the future
Be aware but go around
Today, one week later, I will be on the other side also!!!!
Very good attitude. I hope all is well, good luck this Friday (in New England).
my journey starts this morning. today we fly to Hong Kong and I will check into the hospital. they have wireless lane and as soon, as I can, I will write here again
Good Luck! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Pat
Good luck and keep us posted when you can.
Best wishes on a successful surgery tomorrow!
I think it's tomorow (time difference/date convention always confuses me).
Mike
6:30 in the morning, already showered and now I enjoy a cup of coffee. I slept very well last night and are in a good mood. everything will be fine! see/read you on the other side this afternoon! Bye!
Hey China Lady, welcome to the other side! I assume you will be past op by the time you read this, amd hope all went according to plan and you are already in recovery-mode at this point.
I am now 3 weeks post op from bilateral, and what an incredible journey. There will be ups and downs but you will be amazed at your progress when you start to have some time separation from the surgery.
Best of luck in recovery and hope you'll stay in touch on this forum.
I got it!!!!!!!! I am on the other side too!!!!!! I was 6 hours "out", now I am 3,5 Hours awake. Hungry and thirsty. the PT has shown me some lessons I can already work with. tomorrow they will bring me upright. this was skipped today because I have swelling and water in the lower leg. they will check now for DTV.
the pain injection makes me dizzy. I now have a feeling like strongly drunken, please excuse tipping errors
Congratulations! I hope your hospital stay goes smooth and comfortable.
Mike
Ich bin sehr glucklich fur Sie. Wir wirden einen Jahrestag zu teilen. Sie sind sehr mutig, haben beide Huften repariert, aber ich verstehe die Logik. Die besten Wunsche fur eine gute gesunde Erholung.
(I am very happy for you. We will share an anniversary date. You are very brave to have both hips repaired but I understand the logic. Best wishes for a good healthy recovery.)
Wow!! and Welcome!!
You took your first giant step forward and made it! But this should be your last giant step...tiny, progressive steps will get you back on your bike! Might be a little rough first couple weeks but knowing that makes it acceptable.
You will do great! Congratulations, and keep us posted!
Congratulations. You'll be amazed at your progress...just be patient with the first week and you'll have regular improvements that keep your spirits up as the days tick past.
Well done China Lady, I hope this will work out for you. One step at a time!
Congratulation! You're at the very start, be patient and ice...
day3, post Op.
one step at a time, yes, that's the way to do it. ....... and to find joy in this very short, first steps.
to reach the bathroom
to have a shower
...... and yesterday for me the greatest event: to reach a window where I could have a look outside
Excellent! Have a great recovery and recuperation.
David
Day4 and still in hospital. we decided to go the "long" way. this way I feel safer. they monitor my INR and try to stabilize Warfarin. I have had a high risk of DVT. but the stories are true; each day I feel better, each day I adjust easier
That sounds great. Patience is a real virtue in our case, so as long as you can get help, you should. We are very quickly walking and doing things, so a little bit of care when needed is fine.
I'm glad to hear you're doing well.
Yes, each day you will have something to be happy about as at first the smallest of things come back, like easier walking, then easier getting up and down, up and down by your self, taking a walk outdoors, and on and on. Those things will keep your spirits up. And you've made it past the hardest 4 days now and most of the difficult frst week! Good luck going forward. ;)
I'm amazed how you can get the two hips fixed in one go, for me just dealing with one was plenty... Get all the help you can now, because some things you can't (and must not) do on your own at the beginning.
Although the first days are objectively the toughest, they are also the most rewarding as you make progress quickly on the daily chores and moving around. From what I can remember, around 1 week or so I had a couple of bad days, it's quite common to hit flat days or even go backwards, so keep that in mind and look at it as an endurance event (is good to start well, but much better to finish well!).
the last 16 hours in hospital are starting now. tomorrow 9:00am, the car picks us up and then we will fly home to Suzhou. I am now 6 days post-op and I. proudly, can tell, that today I managed ca 100m and 1 flight of stairs (up and down). no pain at all, only a little weak in the muscles.
the day tomorrow will be no fun. 6 hours sitting/walking/standing.
we are prepared with comfortable cars, business seats during the 2,5 hour flight, 1. row and wheelchair service
If there's any way you can apply ice along the way, that may be helpful. Glad you're on the tail end of the hospital stay.
good luck with travel..glad you got wheelchair, it really makes things easier, they really whisked me through security because of that. hernanu's ice advice sounds smart too.
also, congrats on that flight of stairs and all the walking. Sounds like you're making great progerss. My pain really came under control at around day 7, and you're almost there!
Enjoy the VIP treatment I am sure you will receive on your flight home! Sound like you are on track in recovery! Tiny steps forward will welcome you to big gains later!
home sweet home! 8 hours trip by cars and plane. I am in a lazy chair, covered in blankets, hot tea at my side and Thomas is on his way to shop some groceries and bring pizza home. I feel good, of course exhausted and under my blanket ice pads are on my muscles. this weekend I will not leave the apartment anymore, relax, relax, relax
That is great.
Remember to exercise ice discipline - 10-15 minutes on, then let it rest for about the same amount of time or more. You're doing well, no need to deal with frostbite.
I well remember that "home sweet home" feeling after the ordeal of traveling 3 days post op...such a good feeling. I watched a lot of semi-mindless TV on NetFlix during my first week...and 13 episodes of the office, several movies and a documentary...just felt good to take it easy.
Hernanu makes a great point about ice. Be sure to have a decent layer between your skin and the ice, and alternate on and off. I used a polar care unit (circulated ice water) and for that I could do 45 minutes on, then 45 off..with ice probably better to swap out more frequently.
Keep those updates coming! At 4 weeks I ditched my cane, so am now walking slowly but with no assistance. You'll be there before you know it!
Great to hear you are home. Time for resting and healing. Good Luck.
Pat
Have friend going in for bilateral with Dr. Gross on Friday. Please have him and the staff in your thoughts and prayers. Another friend will be a week and 4 days tomorrow, a little rough at first but has turned the corner. My Polar Ice machine is being used for the third time in eight weeks it is getting a work out. We are the lucky ones as we only live about 1 hr from hospital. Munch shoot me and email and let me know how you are doing. Hope everyone has a speedy recovery and good new year.
Richard
Ps. My youngest daughter was home this weekend and told me it was amazing to see me walk upright with no limp.
today was my first follow up with Dr. Brockwell. everything is fine and in the right place. but he advised me to go slow the next 4 weeks also. no more walking than I already do. I will walk the slow path!
That is great news!
It is always good to follow your surgeon's directives, they have direct view of your situation.
The slow path in this case is good. There is no rush, when you are healed and ready to go is when you reap the benefits of the whole surgery. It is still early for you.
today, 4 weeks ago, I checked in Mathilda Hospital on the Peak in Hong Kong. I was afraid what will happen to me. today, 3 weeks ago, I flew home to Shanghai/Suzhou, a 7 hour journey all over all.
today I enjoy the beginning fireworks to celebrate the beginning of the Year of the Horse. I am soooooooooooo happy! even with all the restrictions I am happy. a nice bottle of wine is on my table, I am pain free, spring is coming and some nice books keep me patient while being a couch potato. live could be much worse.
So nice to hear this China Lady!! Sounds like you are doing what we all must do and that is to be patient. It is amazing reading your story about how far you had to travel and with having both hips resurfaced at the same time! And I complained about having to drive over a 3 mile bridge to have one done ;)
Keep up the good work!
debcoco
Great to hear. Enjoy the new year and the new hips.
today was the second follow up with Dr. Brockwell in Shanghai. everything is fine and he is pleased with my success. at ~7 weeks after surgery, I could show him that I am able to walk short distances without crouches and without a gait. I am able to pull on my socks alone and last night I slept on my left side for the first time. my over all flexibility is good. now I have the yellow-green light to start exercising. the yellow part of the light will stay for the next 4 weeks: go slow, be patient with yourself and don't do to much.
I was very happy, that I am now allowed to ride motorbike again; not the two-wheeler but the sidecar. the 650GS needs to wait another 4 weeks because he is not sure if I can hold the bike if it is out of balance with the being weak muscles
That's great!
Personally, I kept the yellow light on until six months had passed me by in their glory.
It's good to be aware of where you are in recovery - the three months period is when the danger of neck break is at its peak. Due to several things in the area, the largest influence being (as I've read) the deprivation of blood supply due to the operation.
That area is not a vascular superhighway, but rather a meandering path. It takes time to get back to normal.
The danger recedes rapidly, becoming negligible by six months.
I treated the six months like riding in a sidecar - still doing what I wanted in moderation, but more enjoying the ride in preparation for the future.
Congratulations, take it easy and enjoy the improvements to come...
Delighted to hear that you are doing so well. As for the motorcycle; my doctor did not want me riding for 6 months, largely because of the femoral neck fracture concern that Hernanu mentioned. I must say that even though I was training hard for my return to my skiing career at six months, I would not have felt solid before six months in catching my bike with my operated leg if I got off balance. I only get to ride a couple of months a year, so I am sure that your skills will serve you better than mine, and your doctor will have the best advice for your case.
Hi John!
I am very lucky to ride a BMW R1200C/Sidecar. it is a "cruiser", comfortable with a quite low seat. Dr. Brockwell said it is OK to ride a sidecar, because it is stable and cannot fall down. before I mount the BMW G650GS, which can fall down, I need more strength and I will wait some weeks. but before I can ride, I need to mount! this will be my exercises these days. it is not that easy
Good to hear the news from the other side of the world!
Just be careful. At around 2 months I asked if it was OK to do anything as long as it didn't hurt. The answer was a resounding "NO".
Three major limitations
1. No impact on the op side (jumping / running etc)
2. No lifting more then 50lb (I think that was the number, don't have it in kilos)
3. No deep squats.
It's difficult when you feel well enough to do a lot of things but you need the discipline to wait until you're ready.
today is a very happy day! 10 weeks after surgery I rode my bike again. no problem at all!
You made it! What a fantastic picture and day for you! You continue to amaze me! Enjoy the ride:)
deb
Great picture. How are you feeling?
................ like a young horse on a spring meadow! my mind is playful but my legs are still "wooden". but it doesn't matter in the overall view.
You rock!!
Brave determined lady - well done.
The picture shows how well your hips had to move to put you in that position.
Great achievement for a bi-lateral after only 10 weeks.
Your future looks bright - have fun.
I don't have a video take how I mounted it. imagine: walrus!
to sit is easy
I just came back from Shanghai. I met Dr. Brockwell for the 3 month consultation. everything is fine, he is happy and so I am happy. the highest risk for "bone breaking" is gone but I should be careful for the following 3 month also.
now I am allowed to change from crouches to the lighter hiking sticks.
I asked him about that funny, vibrating feeling I have had some weeks ago while tying my shoe laces. that was a dislocation and I must avoid it under all circumstances. if you need to reach your feet, approach them "through the knees", not over the outside of your legs
I think for you it is good that you had a 3 month follow-up.
Particularly regarding the funny vibrating feeling you had a few weeks ago tying your shoe laces by bending over the outside of your legs. I haven´t heard anyone describe this sensation before.
If Dr Brockwell said the funny vibrating feeling equates to the beginning of the dislocation process then you have been fortunate.
As Dr Brockwell says this is to be avoided under all circumstances I am sure you will bend ´through the knees´to reach your feet from now on.
You are still early in your recovery so take care as you recover strength and mobility.
Have fun too of course.
That was a close one China Lady. Everyone requires different restrictions after surgery. Some weight bearing some not. Some have 90 rule and others don't. One that seems to apply to everyone after surgery is to not cross your operated leg over the other i.e. no internal rotation (crossing legs, etc.).
To reach your shoes from the outside certainly puts the hip on internal rotation with the force of your body weight too.
I think that motion levers the new ball against the freshly sutured capsule on the outside if I'm not mistaken. It's nice to see nothing bad happened.
After that restriction is removed you have to work to regain that internal rotation - something I did not know about. Not until I discovered it was causing problems with my knee did I work to regain that motion. Now walking and running are much smoother.
Chuckm
Chuckm,
How did you regain the internal rotation?
deb
Chuck, interesting that you mention knees. I've never felt anything in my knees until a couple of weeks ago when I went back to a full soccer game. Nothing major, but I did notice some pain on both sides. I attribute it to either the usual reason of being able to do things with your body that you haven't been able to do before, or maybe I'm just getting old. I'm also getting muscle tugs and pulls in both legs that I think you also experienced.
Probably worth starting a new conversation about this.
The internal rotation issue is something I think the hip resurfacing industry needs to talk about. After surgery, most if not all of us are told to avoid crossing legs (internal rotation). This is to let the repaired capsule heal. It is also to avoid dislocation which will tear the capsule while it is healing. But I was never told when that restriction was over or what to do to regain that lost motion. To see what I am talking about, sit straight up in a chair with feet shoulder width apart. Using your hands push only your knees together until they touch keeping feet apart. Gently bend forward at the waist bringing you chest and head down. You will feel that pinch in the hip. The farther apart your feet are will require more internal rotation to bend forward.
I had problems with my knee on my operated side once I became active again. A local surgeon looked at my knee and there was nothing wrong. I told him about my hip resurfacing and he said it is common for total hip replacement patients to have knee problems below the hip. He was very elusive about why or what I could do about it. My research about total hip replacement showed how lack of internal rotation motion caused those patients to have an abnormal gait. But internal is often a lifelong restriction for total hip patients. With hip resurfacing, at some point, we can reclaim that motion.
I know some patients take up yoga which will work that area. You test that motion when you put your leg up on something and try to cut your toe nails. For you Old Soccer Player it is drying between the toes. At first your knee splays way out to the side. As the internal rotation gets better you can bring that knee in under your chin. Now cross it over and do that and you are getting close to normal.
I've been working on it gently for about six months now and it has really helped with soccer and walking.
Chuckm
Both interesting and good info....thanks for sharing!
deb
thanks' for sharing, Chuckm
your descriptions are very clear and I was sitting here, smiling, when I read about toe nails cutting. yes, I can do that also since 3 weeks. for both of this events, (toes + laces), I use another technique: while sitting, I bring my right foot on my left knee, and the other way round, then I only need to bend my waist less. every movement I do in slow motion. if something feels not right I stop immediately.
there is something else I notice in this days; even when my hips are still stiff, I often forget that my knees, feet, waist are full functional. I mean, if you cannot bend the hip, bend the knees.
That's great China Lady that you can get to your feet like that at three weeks.
Old Soccer Player, sorry about the nagging tweaks and pulls. In hindsight I can only recommend that you are well hydrated before you start and that you drink fluids every 15 minutes - and that you are patient for this process to work itself out. It's not always easy to stop in soccer for a drink. Regardless, you will probably still have muscle problems as you regain soccer conditioning. My theory is that the longer you were away from the game the longer it will be for your muscles to recondition themselves. It is a type of conditioning that is really difficult to prepare for without actually playing. The muscles are in motion for one to two hours and at any time may be required to be able to sprint (or at least go faster for short bursts). Even though you drink fluids, the muscles are just not prepared to replenish what they need, muscle firing gets out of sync and the result is an injury.
On the good side, all this subsided at the one year mark. Now I can play soccer as hard as I like for as long as I like without injury. Just this last Sunday I went 80 straight minutes without a drink and no problems.
Chuckm
Thanks for the great advice Chuck. If none of that works I'll just attribute it to my age :)
That's exactly what I was thinking too. But it is definitely NOT an age thing. You just have to wait it out. The muscles will slowly improve.
Chuckm
back on 2 wheels! I just came home from a short test ride. People have a smile on their face when they see me getting the hiking sticks out of my back pack
............. and yesterday I have had another "first"!
I was swimming and enjoyed it very much. because I felt a little bit unsecure I asked a friend to join me; swimming on the back or front and aqua gymnastic. after 30 minutes I noticed that the joints became more stiff and I ended the exercise. so, summer may come now!
That's great. Each of the things you left behind comes back to you.
I passed today the 4 month mark. it cannot be better! we went out for a bike ride to the country side. 28 degree C, blue sky and the air smells of flowers.
I have no pain, no muscle aches, nothing. it only feels sometimes a little stiff after long time sitting or when I rise in the morning. I am down to 1 crouch or hiking stick, but very often I walk now without anything.
You know, it is the mileposts that stick in my mind, the first time driving, walking without a stick, running or (in my case) kicking large punching bags.
But the thing that brought me real peace and wonderment was the day I realized I was walking free and easy, with no pain in the near past, in the present and no presentiment of future pain.
It was (and remains) glorious.
China Lady,
I'm one month ahead of you...we are both pain free.....isn't life grand!!
deb
we have a biker friend, he has terrible problems in his right knee. last year we both hardly could mount our bikes. last week he asked me: how do you feel? my answer: I even cannot remember the pain anymore!
he is suffering, but he not suffers enough to "walk the walk". yes, to make the decision, to go to surgery, is not an easy one; but for me: NO regrets!
a short update:
my 9 month anniversary I celebrated on a long distance motorbike ride through Zhejiang Province, China. most of the time I forget that I have new hips. life`s good!!!!!
Congratulations! It does seem to take time until we "forget" about our new hips! It does happen and that is something current patients need to remember and learn from the many posted stories.
Thanks for the update. Good Luck. Pat
Great to hear China Lady,
I'm at 11 months in a few days and life is grand. See the surgeon in 4 weeks and then I can cut loose.
http://youtu.be/t-ZPD_m4IyM
here is the video, enjoy! I am proud that I made it.
when we rode the "valley of horror", 20 km construction site deep in the mountains, I laid me and the bike into a bed of big stones. I remember well that moment and will never forget it. after that last, crucial part where Thomas rode my bike, we came to a ramp down to the "normal" road. Thomas was ahead and called something to me. later we reconciled he called: don't ride. I heard: ride! half way down the ramp of child's-head big stones I lost control and fell down. time enough to push myself away from the bike. by myself I stood again and nothing serious happened; only bruises on my lower legs.
I was really happy but I hate riding muddy gravel!
Enjoyed the video, China Lady. Glad to hear your new hips are doing the job.
today is the day: one year anniversary!!!!!!! yippeeeeyh!!!
I am so happy! reading my diary 1 year back, I remember the anxious feelings, the pain ..... today I am as "good as new". Dr. Brockwell did a great job with my BHR. in my daily life I have no restrictions at all. ROM excellent, balance great, endurance increasing every month.
the only problem, sometimes, is in my head: for years I was used to step back from "things". to steep, to far away for walking, terrain to rough, ....... now I learn back courage.
and all this "only" in my daily life, and ...........life`s good!
That's so awesome, China Lady. Congrats! And Happy New Year!
Congratulations! The head is sometimes the hardest to regain, you'll feel fully confident as you go.
2. Anniversary is today! Life is great!
No problems, no restrictions, no funny feelings anywhere.....nothing.
I do what I want to do without thinking if I can do it. In 4 weeks we fly to South Africa to make a motorbike ride on the famous Gardenroad. Three years ago, that would have been impossible.
Thanks Dr. Brockwell for making that possible again!
Happy 2nd for both hips! Great news about how well you feel. That is the way it is suppose to be - not thinking about hips, but life.
Keep going and stop by next year to tell us how you are doing.
Happy New Year!
Pat
Love to hear this.
Wonderful, yery happy to hear that!
Back from Kashgar. The video and story will follow later. I like to to talk now about a strange experiance I have had.
Pain free for 3 years I suffered a lot on this travel. Leaving to go to the airport: pain free. Entering the airport at Shanghai I felt a little uncomfortable. Arriving Urumpchi after 5 hours sitting, I hardly could walk anymore......arriving Kashgar after another 1.5 hour flight, I needed my walking stick.
No bone pain, but muskle pain in the right leg. Starting at the hip and going down to the knee. No "power" anymore.
For 5 days I suffered a lot, but managed. 2 days ago we came to our last topic: riding a camel at Gobi Desert. With my hiking sticks aid, I went to the camel, with a little help I mounted it, we rode not to long, because the sun went down and we needed to make Biwack. I went of the camel and was absolutly pain free! Gone!
I cannot explain it.... We have flown to South Africa in January, 18 hours, no problem at all...
It happens while sitting! And dont go away while walking again.
Now, this moment, I have that unconfortable feeling again. But I notice that it is going away.
No explanaition, it just is.....
We have had a great time and I dont want a moment of that experiance! |