Has anyone experienced an emotional rollercoaster after HR? I am having a hard time trying to focus on anything. I am two weeks post op and I don't even want to do any business work, return calls, etc.
I'm 4 wks post-op and have had much the same experience. I had best intentions of doing all this work after the 1st week or so, but wasn't able to focus on it much. Couldn't even do much pleasure reading. I've also been moody, lacked motivation. Yesterday was my 1st day back at work, which has helped a little bit but still hard to concentrate.
It is easier second time around!
I'm no expert, but you might find some of this at least vaguely familiar, though in a milder sense.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder
The whole build up to surgery, and the mental and physical ordeal of surgery itself with all its attendant uncertainties and (sometimes) surprises is bound to be stressful for most of us. My theory is that we are all at risk of a little mild PTSD-like feeling.
I think time, and celebration of being beyond the OA pain, are among the best healers of this one.
Best wishes on your continuing recoveries and rehabs.
The worst thing I experienced was the first two days at home after the surgery. I had trouble concentrating on anything, even TV. At times especially at night I could feel anxiety or maybe even panic building up in me. I honestly did not know what was going on.
Someone explained to me that it was because of all the excitement and build up leading to the surgery. Then you are in a hospital with noise and activity all around plus you are being cared for by the hospital staff. The hospital is brightly lit. Then in a matter of a day or two you are sitting in your home and it is quiet, hardly anyone around and it may be darker as it was in my case. It was cold, dark Winter where I live. All the excitement is over and there is not much to do but wait and heal. Almost like watching paint dry. Plus you are laying there with a fresh surgical incision(s) and this new thing(s) stuck in you. I guess reality sets in. If I had my surgery done in the Summer, I don't think it would have been like that. Don't get me wrong, I was very happy to be rid of the bad hip surfaces. That was my experience, everyone is different.
I am much better now, but will admit I too have trouble at times getting into activities, even ones I like to do. I think as the weather improves even more and I heal more I will return to my old self. (But with nice ,new, shiny hip surfaces of course! ;D).
Hip, keep us posted and know you are not alone.
I think you need to heal emotionally as well as physically. Even though for me a great thing happened, the isolation you feel after, along with the amount of time without any activity that you're used to can take some getting used to.
I also had to rearrange myself mentally. I had given up on certain activities in my life, and now was planning on resuming them. The lack of mobility, even going out on crutches can be a bit embarrassing until the time is done.
Patience I think is the key here, patience with the process, but also with yourself, since you are going through an emotional time. Just remember that you are limited for a tiny amount of time, but will be freed of the pain that has sapped you for the rest of your life hopefully.
I had something happen that was great. I was carrying something out of the car, and dropped a couple of things. One went under the car. Before the operations, that would have been a gateway to hell, since I would had needed to find a way down (in pain), reach under the car (in more pain) and get back up (excruciating). Now I just knelt down, reached under the car, got it and stood up. I didn't even notice the difference until I started walking away. Little things like this helped me keep positive as I recouped.
I think what makes it so tough is the fact that we suffered so much before surgery. The pain and loss of activities we loved and the things we just couldn't do anymore.
Then we have the surgery, the old hip pain is gone, but we still have to patiently wait for weeks and months to heal. Even though we are much better than before, we still have to wait to do stuff. I knew it would be this way but it doesn't make it easier. :(
Thanks everyone. It is helpful to hear that I am not the only one. I have the added anxiety of knowing I have to go through again with left hip. I see why others say get them done at the same time.
I signed up for therapy to help me with this issue, I think it will help.
NEWDog hit it on the head. Being stuck in the house and the season contributes to the depression. I never sit still. I walk my dog three times a day, run with him at dog park and let's not mention Triathlon stuff. If it was nice outside I could at least sit in the park and watch the kids play.
Hernanu raises a good point that we have to deal with loss and recovery, and maybe just loss. We all may not be able to return 100% to what we are used to. I hope I can run again but must be prepared if I can't. Change is inevitable: growth is an option.
I agree with the PST analogy, I know my body does. From what I read about PST it is important to speak about these issues. Surface Hippy has been my greatest outlet to share my frustrations. Nobody knows what I went through and continue to do so. Yau'll do. No matter how tough I thought I was or how many miles I swam before the surgery, I wasn't ready for this. Thanks for being the support group I've never seen - You're like NINJA's!
hip,
You are so right. Nobody other than other Hippys knows or understands what we went through. It is very personal. I believe my wife tries her best but I really don't expect her to fully understand. Even in the Hippy world we are different and are affected differently.
I believe you are doing the right thing signing up for therapy. I think it would have helped me a lot if I would have done the same especially before surgery. Looking back, I realize that I probably suffered more emotionally than I needed to. Maybe I still am.
Give the dog a hug and let him know you'll be taking him on walks again soon.
Keep talking to us when you need to.
One thing that got me a litttle depressed was the fact I made really good progress on rehabbing my left leg in the four weeks between my two surgeries. I felt like I was really ready for the second, because in that short time I had gotten to the point where I felt like it was my unoperated right leg that was then holding me back. But after the second surgery I also felt like I was now back at "square one" and having once again to go through all the pain, stiffness, sleepness, etc. that happens during the first post-surgery week. Feeling a lot better now, though, after three weeks and ready to throw away the crutches next week. I'm glad I did it the way I did. Get it over with and move on.
Waaaahhhh, I'm sad, WAAAAAAAHHHH I have a metal ball in my hip! Waaaaaaaah! :(
Get over it, you had hip surgery. Don't you watch the news? Don't you see these young soldiers come back missing all kinds of limbs? The ones who come home and their heads look like half eaten apple pies? They don't even remember where their hip is! Now they have the right to complain! Next time your in the hospital take a swing by the cancer ward and see what real trouble is! Suck it up. This too shall pass. Everybody handles these things differently. Like I saw a guy running the NYC Marathon and he was nothing but a head attached to one sneaker. There is a guy who understands how to handle lifes challenges! You can too, alright? Now get out there and make it happen! Don't make me come down there and boot you in the ass!......oh yeah, I can't, only partial weight bearing....shit.
;) hang in there buddy it will get better!
Joe, you sound just like my Aussie hospital PT!
(PS Although I agree with Joe's point that we hippys have nothing like the challenges of others facing much more challenging conditions, surgeries, rehabs etc., the anxieties and stresses are real enough for hippy patients, and the psychological consequences should be acknowledged along with the physical.
http://www.primarypsychiatry.com/aspx/articledetail.aspx?articleid=1067
But bottom line in my book is that the liberation from pain and disability offered by these modern prostheses is a fabulous gift, which can be enjoyed more and more as the memory of the surgery fades.
Good luck with whatever works best for you all in your rehabs and recoveries. :))
I was just ballbusting ;D...a New York tradition. I am too early on to know exactly how i will feel going forward. No matter how you slice it (no pun intended!), its tough both emotionally and physically. This is a real "keep your eye on the prize" type situation.
I say we set up on online poker game or something to keep ourselves entertained!
Take it from The Gunny!!
Quote from: joedb123 on April 01, 2011, 09:14:04 AM
Take it from The Gunny!!
;D ;D
Joe, did you make this ad?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaFy0x_Uixo
I love that guy!! Im glad you got a laugh Hip, that was the whole idea :). This surgery sucks no matter how you look at it. Again, I am trying to keep focused on the outcome and remember why I did it in the first place.
I woke up this morning and my foot looks like a balloon......fun,fun, fun!
I am glad everyone is talking about the mental rehab. Major surgery really takes a toll on the body and mind and emotions. We are not use to people slicing us open and adding new parts. Makes us very vulnerable to the doctors and hospitals and very slow in recovery. We just don't feel like the people we use to be. The Good News is that you will eventually recover and be better than the person you were. You will be active and out of pain again. The older you get, the more diffiuclt the surgery recovery. The opposite seems true with the emotional recovery - the younger you are, the more difficult the recovery waiting to get back to your normal life.
Hang in there. If you feel really depressed, do the counsuling or get some meds from your family doctor to help you over the hump. It is not unusual for people to feel depressed and down after surgery - young, old, male or female. I had open heart surgery to replace my aortic valve last August and it is most common for those folks to have xanex or some form of meds to stop the emotional roller coaster. It is a life or death situation making the decision to have surgery and go thru the long recovery. I was up and running within a few weeks after my BHR, but my recovery from OHS has been very long. The mental skills have taken a long time to return - very hard to concentrate. So it is not unusual to have the emotional, mental and physical problems during recovery. Most family members won't understand it if they haven't been thru it, but fortunately most will be sympathetic and helpful.
It is helpful to talk to others in the same situation and I am glad everyone has joined in on this topic. Please be sure to post if you need to talk, this is a great supportive group of folks. If you don't get the support you need, be sure to talk to your family doctor or do some temporary consuling. The goal of the surgery is to get back to a better life - use whatever means you need.
Pat
:o
;D
LOL @ Joe.
Thanks for "keepin' it real."
We all tend to see the world from our own narrow perspective, and the emotional rollercoaster is only natural given the traumatic nature of the surgery that we have chosen for ourselves and the lengthy recovery.
My wife, several decades ago, was a nurse in a hospital rehab center. Most of her patients were in transition from acute to long term care with major disabilities (paraplegics, quads and major head injuries) incurred through traumatic injuries of some sort. These people, for the most part, had no hope of regaining their former lives and yet still found ways to maintain a positive attitude. She has reminded me of this several times to help keep things in perspective.
A wise man once told me that if we ALL put our stories on our front porch, 95% of people would pick theirs back up and go inside! :)
Joe, thanks for putting some things into prespective, I just came home today from the hospital and even though i wanted to go home I kind of freaked out in the car on the way home. I guess the hospital was a security blanket for me. Im already thinking wow first day out and Im bored!! I used to run and teach group exercise and so now im limited....I walked around the house three times and it has only been a few hours since i got back. (walking slowly) I cannot wait until the weather gets better in va beach!!
i think mentally is going to be tough. Having peeps around will help as well as this website.
thanks for posting(my son is in the army in germany)
joe,
Thanks, I needed that! It does put things in perspective, doesn't it? Of course you know this means you can't come bawlin' to us in later posts? :'( (Just kidding Joe, we're here for you!) ;D
halfdone,
I love that ad too! The first time I saw it, I died laughing at it! Good one!! ;D ;D
Steve
Half,
That ain't the kind of "bawlin" I plan on doing ;)!!!
G'night gang!
I think part of the problem is that people, including me, are reluctant to share mental health issues. I heard that a politician would fare better to admit an adulterous affair than being in mental health therapy. IT IS STIGMATIZED SO MUCH. I can tell me friends about my ten inch scar and how I almost passed out the first day after surgery and the think I'm the man. But if I talk about crying and being scared, they tell me to put the "H" on my chest and "Handle" it.
Well I simply can't. I need to get it out. I normally go running, swimming or do some other exhausting activity to help me deal with anxiety/depression. The day before my surgery I swam 3 miles non-stop. I cant do that now so I'll cry, read Cory Foulk story on surface hippy, or watch the Ironman video of the father who pulls his paraplegic son through 140.6 miles of hell - anything to give me hope. I am so tired of worrying about a blood clot, a fracture, or a freaking infection.
Joe you choose to "light the candle than curse the darkness." Humor helps. I try to remember that others have more severe issues. It only makes me upset that we don't recognize a mental part of what people go through, especially our troops and all the people who can't even afford health insurance, let alone resurfacing? Thanks God for good hearts.
Halfdone - great research article. I truly believe that surgeons dont' see a value in dealing with the mental issue as well as the physical. They are not trained to. It is said that a doctor treats, a physician heals. We need more physicians. You article supports that point.
I'll leave you with this. My attempt at the Ironman World Championship was cut short a week out from the race by a bad reaction to a Cortisone shot. As a result I had to have Hip Resurfacing. Prior to the race, my coach sent me this note. I read it to help me remember that I am not a stranger to pain and hard work and, most importantly, that I can't do this alone. Thank you my Hippy Ninjas
ed
www.ironman4youth.com
Note from Coach Steve:
"Big Ed,
Here’s a little secret for you. Getting to the finish line of an Ironman is not the hard part. Getting to the starting line is.
Which is why 99% of the population doesn’t even try. It requires pain and sacrifice. It requires losing time with your loved ones, doing the Brick From Hell when you really don’t want to, endlessly running in a pool, enduring the physical pain and the constant fatigue.
You, my friend, are just a few steps away from the starting line. That’s the hard part!!! The race…well, that’s the gift. You won’t be alone in Kona, dude. No one does an Ironman alone.
Hang in there."
Quote from: hipnhop on April 02, 2011, 12:37:51 AM
I think part of the problem is that people, including me, are reluctant to share mental health issues. I heard that a politician would fare better to admit an adulterous affair than being in mental health therapy. IT IS STIGMATIZED SO MUCH. I can tell me friends about my ten inch scar and how I almost passed out the first day after surgery and the think I'm the man. But if I talk about crying and being scared, they tell me to put the "H" on my chest and "Handle" it.
I'll bite on that...
I ended up going to a shrink prior to scheduling surgery. I had so much going through my head just managing life with a small business and young family that the prospect of scheduling surgery was quite overwhelming. Also, as an engineer... I want the exact/perfect solution to problems. That doesn't often happen in medicine. He helped me out a great deal in making decisions with no perfect answer and lowering my life's overall stress level so that the occasional peaks of stress dealing with my hip didn't push me over the edge.
Quote from: hipnhop on April 02, 2011, 12:37:51 AMWell I simply can't. I need to get it out. I normally go running, swimming or do some other exhausting activity to help me deal with anxiety/depression. The day before my surgery I swam 3 miles non-stop. I cant do that now so I'll cry, read Cory Foulk story on surface hippy, or watch the Ironman video of the father who pulls his paraplegic son through 140.6 miles of hell - anything to give me hope. I am so tired of worrying about a blood clot, a fracture, or a freaking infection.
My overall outlook has changed considerably for the positive post surgery. I've had several people tell me that I just look more relaxed and happy. That's the 'overall' improvement. There have been lots of 'bummer' moments and emotional swings.
A few weeks back I dropped something and realized that I'd have to get my crutches and it was going to be super tough to get to it and pick it up. I freaking lost it... picked up a plate and whipped it across the kitchen putting a huge dent in the cabinet. I did this in front of my 6 year old daughter. To say that I was horribly embarrassed is a huge understatement.
Yesterday was warmer and sunny... I should have been out on the bike putting in base miles. I'm not supposed to ride until August, what a bummer.
Overcome by submitting, gain by yielding... easier said than done, but I'm working on it.
Einreb, I hear you. It is more mental than physical, at least in my opinion.
As each day passes I fell like I'm normalizing. Sometimes I want to push myself (walk a mile, swim, etc.) to prove to myself that I am getting better. I have to avoid those self-defeating behaviors that will only set me back. I am trying to trust the PT, Surgeon and the numbers. Statistically, we have a 95% chance of this working.
For me it is a realizing that I am so vulnerable. I was upstairs in my room and heard a noise downstairs. Fear came over me because I had no way of fleeing the situation. My first instinct would be to run, jump out a window, just get to safety. When I realized there was no way that was going to happen I felt so powerless. Thank God it was just fallen mop. When you cant follow your most basic instinct - flee (i can't fight), it does something to you. I will never get a gun but I am thinking abut a bow an arrow (lol).
I can't imagine what is it like to have small children around (all my kids are grown).
Like so many others have said, each day I get better. I am going into my third week and start counseling this week to help with some of the anxiety and depression. Time seems to be going by so slow these days but I'm starting to enjoy going to bed at 9:00pm. I got some Ambien which helps me sleep.
Best of luck
hip,
You bring up an excellent point that I have not seen addressed on this forum. I have felt the same way you do about being vulnerable. I still do. It doesn't feel very good when you can't even run from a possibly dangerous situation such as the one you described. I go for walks and hikes and I couldn't run from a mean dog or a bear! Not that I could out run them with good hips but at least I could do something. We are not used to feeling helpless. I can't stand being around a group of people especially when there are little kids running around out of control. It feels like they are going to run into me.
The vulnerable feeling is part of this process and I admit I didn't think about it before surgery. Now we know how the very elderly and physically challenged must feel.
I suggest just be careful and aware when you are out in public. While still using a crutch or cane you can use that to guard yourself when someone isn't paying attention and are maybe about to run into you. (Don't smack them with it, use it to block with. ;) Just guard that precious new hip.
Hang in there, the bad times will pass soon I'm sure. Let us know how you make out.
Steve (newdog)
Quote from: newdog on April 03, 2011, 06:08:46 PM
I go for walks and hikes and I couldn't run from a mean dog or a bear!
Remember, though, you usually don't need to outrun a bear. You just have to outrun whoever you're hiking with.
;D
Mike, that's hilarious!!!! I think I'll go camping with some THR folks (that's coldddddd!!!!)
Mike and hipnhop, you guys are too funny!!
For what it's worth, counseling is a big help. I added that to my recovery schedule and i think it is the best thing I did. I was concerned that I was a little unmotivated about work (depression) but it helped me understand that the problem wasn't lack of motivation. I am motivated to heal, advocate for best health care, learn as much about HR and bone growth as possible, recover, etc. In fact my surgeon says I am her most motivated patient.
After such a traumatic experience (I was on crutches and in sever pain sex months post op), I am just taking care of business. There is nothing wrong woith giving yourself time to heal physically and mentally.
Dont forget about getting your mind right. You can't walk straight if you don't know where you're going ( i think I just created a new quote).
hipnhop
Thanks for the post. I got behind with a bunch of stuff at work and have been playing serious catch up the last few days. Today I think I am back to being even
You have been a motivation for me. Cheers - Phill
hipnhop,
Great post! You sound very motivated to me and I like the new quote. I've been slacking lately with my post op exercise therapy. Thanks for the inspiration.
Quote from: hipnhop on April 27, 2011, 05:14:53 PM
sever pain sex months post op
You may not be done with therapy... ;)
Congrats on moving forward! I hit the 10 week mark today and am cane free... it was great for the spirits.
Bernie,
Cane free! You know you made it when you can ditch the crutches and cane. When I was done with mine it really lifted my spirits too! Hard to believe you are 10 weeks already.
"No Cane; No Pain!"
I have my six week check up tomorrow so I hope it is "no cane" (well actually crutches) - Phill