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Author Topic: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat  (Read 5822 times)

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imgetinold

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Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« on: January 27, 2012, 12:06:34 PM »
Not sure about you all, but I think the raised toiled seat is my least favorite thing about this surgery.  That, coupled with my exercise limit, is causing my brain to do weird things.  Like, wake me up thinking of stuff like this.

Since my humor level tends to be near the toilet anyway, it's a perfect fit!  But with some writers out there, I expect greatness to show up.  Don't be shy.

Here is my start:

Poo poo potty chair
Disdain for the seat runs high
Can't wait to "grow up"

Elevated seat
Adds kinetic energy
To a poo-based bomb

White plastic eyrie
Perch to welcome my buttocks
Butt....not for too long
Andy - Right Biomet uncemented HR with Dr. Gross on 1/11/2012......GO BOILERS!

Baby Barista

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2012, 01:26:12 PM »
Roses are red. My hip is black and blue.
it took 5 long days... But last night I pooed.
LBHR Pritchett 01/23/12 - 52mm head, 58mm cup
RBHR Pritchett 12/10/12 - 52mm head, 58mm cup

WTW15

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2012, 02:19:11 PM »
Baby Barista - about spit out my coffee!!! 

Is there any way to sit comfortably on the plastic thrown without bending greater than 90*? 
Successful LBHR 1/19/12 Dr. Cynthia Kelly
Fear causes Hesitation and Hesitation causes your worst Fears to come true

mslendzion

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2012, 03:18:36 PM »
Mine have side handles. It allows me to get the right angle AND an upper body workout as I need to lift to no exceed th 90 degree rule. Good times.
Left BHR 1/9/12 Dr. Schmitt

Aerial

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2012, 04:57:15 PM »
Roses are red. My hip is black and blue.
it took 5 long days... But last night I pooed.

Now that is funny!  ;D
« Last Edit: January 27, 2012, 04:57:47 PM by Aerial »
Right hip resurfacing with Dr. Gross on 12/5/11!

Two4One

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2012, 12:12:47 AM »
 ;D lol
« Last Edit: January 28, 2012, 12:14:34 AM by Two4One »
"I was inspired by the very idea of turning the wildest figments of your imagination into something real and creating a life for yourself." - Ken Ilgunas

12/11 Failed Bilateral BHR by Dr. Schmitt  3/14 Positive Metal LTT for Nickel Allergy.   11/14 Bilat Ceramic/Titanium Revisions.

imgetinold

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2012, 01:57:10 PM »
Sheesh.  I was hoping to see a few dozen haikus by now......
Andy - Right Biomet uncemented HR with Dr. Gross on 1/11/2012......GO BOILERS!

Two4One

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2012, 02:19:35 PM »
Two years gassed not passed
Drugs received no hugs given
Toilet empty still
« Last Edit: January 28, 2012, 02:22:28 PM by Two4One »
"I was inspired by the very idea of turning the wildest figments of your imagination into something real and creating a life for yourself." - Ken Ilgunas

12/11 Failed Bilateral BHR by Dr. Schmitt  3/14 Positive Metal LTT for Nickel Allergy.   11/14 Bilat Ceramic/Titanium Revisions.

imgetinold

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2012, 02:31:57 PM »
YES!   ;)
Andy - Right Biomet uncemented HR with Dr. Gross on 1/11/2012......GO BOILERS!

OtterDriver

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2012, 02:14:29 AM »
Oh no...not again!

Forgot urine straight ahead. 

Big gap means wet floor!

~8^)

Two4One

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2012, 10:55:56 AM »

Eliminated constitution
Eight Hundred Ninety Five days
No accounting waste
« Last Edit: January 29, 2012, 10:58:52 AM by Two4One »
"I was inspired by the very idea of turning the wildest figments of your imagination into something real and creating a life for yourself." - Ken Ilgunas

12/11 Failed Bilateral BHR by Dr. Schmitt  3/14 Positive Metal LTT for Nickel Allergy.   11/14 Bilat Ceramic/Titanium Revisions.

imgetinold

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2012, 01:51:01 PM »
Otter......that's exactly what started this thread!  Glad I'm not the only one.......  Hilarious!


Keep 'em coming.....
Andy - Right Biomet uncemented HR with Dr. Gross on 1/11/2012......GO BOILERS!

OtterDriver

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2012, 03:21:27 PM »
Hello Imgetinold!

Actually it only took one instance of that to learn to remember the "aim".  Fortunately just got the little rug around the bowl...quick hosing outside and then the washing machine...good to go!

The "other" form of elimination wasn't a problem even in the hospital.  I found it amazing what nurses were impressed by!

Bruce


Two4One

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #13 on: February 17, 2012, 03:55:55 AM »
First night at home
Standing tall on shaking legs
Hubs wipes down my back side


Green black brown or red
Hard work for little reward
No poo tea leaves read


Tapering weaning
Snow melting with icy rain
Yet I still retain


Once a week success
Then I have to change my dress
Nature calls me a mess
"I was inspired by the very idea of turning the wildest figments of your imagination into something real and creating a life for yourself." - Ken Ilgunas

12/11 Failed Bilateral BHR by Dr. Schmitt  3/14 Positive Metal LTT for Nickel Allergy.   11/14 Bilat Ceramic/Titanium Revisions.

johnd_emd

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2012, 04:08:01 AM »
Raised Toilet Seat
Sore on my butt
Peed through the Gap
My T.E.D. Hose are Yellow
Crap
Dr. Rector
Feb. 1
Rt Hip Resurfacing
Birmingham

imgetinold

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #15 on: February 17, 2012, 12:17:14 PM »
Green black brown or red
Hard work for little reward
No poo tea leaves read

I LOVE this one!  Nice!
Andy - Right Biomet uncemented HR with Dr. Gross on 1/11/2012......GO BOILERS!

Two4One

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2012, 01:15:39 AM »
Thanks, Gold!  This is a very silly, fun thread!
"I was inspired by the very idea of turning the wildest figments of your imagination into something real and creating a life for yourself." - Ken Ilgunas

12/11 Failed Bilateral BHR by Dr. Schmitt  3/14 Positive Metal LTT for Nickel Allergy.   11/14 Bilat Ceramic/Titanium Revisions.

OtterDriver

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Re: Humor......Haiku to the raised toilet seat
« Reply #17 on: January 25, 2015, 08:02:29 PM »
Not referenced to the toilet necessarily, but wanted to revisit the Haiku aspect...


                                    Bone on bone he cried

                                    The left side has lost it's stride

                                    Here I go again!


~8^(


 

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