Am I going nuts?

[dancharel]

I had my first RS last July at the age of 35.  I guess I have recovered well in so much that I can run (although not often due to OA in LHS hip), cross trainer etc.  However I still find it difficult to talk about the Op in a personal way.  I have no problem talking about the procedure and how it felt (had a spinal rather than a general) but when my GP or consultant talks about to me I find myself fighting back the tears and have recently had a few full on crying episodes.  Mildly embarrassing for a man even in this modern age of sensibility.  Has anybody else heard of this before or even experienced it. 

Many Thanks

[Pat Walter]

Hi

Sometimes major surgery is not only hard on our bodies - but also our minds and emotions.  You went thru a really major surgery and maybe just now you are coming to terms with it.  Quite a few people have almost felt depressed at some point after surgery.  Maybe bacause of the trama to the body - I am not sure. 

Many people having slower recoveries really feel bad.  Here is a whole page about that  http://www.surfacehippy.info/slowrecovery.php

Maybe you just feel life wasn't fair to you having to have a hip replacement at 35.  I guess life just isn't fair at times. 

I don't think there is ever a problem with a man or woman crying. We all have the same kinds of feelings.  You have gone thru a long journey to get your life back after your surgery.  The only suggestion I would have is if you continue to have these feelings for an extended time, perhaps talk to someone professional about it. 

Meanwhile, maybe just talking to us about it will make you feel better.  There have been a lot of people emotionally upset after having hip surgery.

Keep in touch and maybe find a friend to talk to if possible.

Pat

[kb134]

Maybe this is too late to post???  I'm new here to these posting rooms, and saw your post though its dated a few months ago.  Still, I'd like to reply.  Its strange how we as humans are.  But it is also quite beautiful.  I'm a 29 y/o male and I have cried.  I've also cussed it up a bit too.  The reality that I have a new hip, a device made out of cobalt chrome and now its in me for an undetermined amount of time.  They say I will have to face a revision one day.  I am an athlete.  I haven't been able to train or perform at a strong level for years.  I get depressed, I get emotional, I get angry, . . and so on.  Do I hate that I have had to have this prcedure done to me?  I'm back and forth about it.  Will I overcome the limitations of this long healing process?  And there is the power.  I have a choice.  I can choose how this will affect me today, tonight, tomorrow, next week, next ride or race.  The key is, the debilitating pain is gone.  That was not life.  I remember I was out at dinner with a good friend right before my resurfacing surgery.  And while walking from the restaurant to my friend's car, my hip right hip caught and popped with the usual 10/10 on the pain scale sensation.  And that was the first time I wasn't afraid of the surgery and all the unknows on the other side of it.  I thought to my hip, "I'm done with you, you bastard!" 
I've cried with the physiotherapist pre and post-op.  The emotions are there, whatever they are - grief, fear, uncertainty, grace, love, compassion.  And they need to vent sometimes.  Never be ashamed or feel silly if the emotions or tears come.  You have a right to them, and they are yours.
Blessings.

[Pat Walter]

KB124

Bravo!  Well Said!

It is never too late to post on this group.  More than 9000 unique visitors a month use the website and over 60,000 page views a month are generated by this Hip Talk Discussion Group.

Even if dancharel  doesn't read it, many hudreds more will at some point.  You will be able to give them some input into the emotional aspect of surgery.  It is not all blood and guts - we are people and everyone has feelings.

Many people feel emotionally wonderful after surgery and many feel some depression.  This is tough stuff to have your body cut wide open and have one of your major joints removed and replaced.  We are all slowed down from pain and not active to start with - then we have to go thru the trama of major surgery with a recovery period.  Long for some people, short for others - but we all have to adapt and try to get our bodies back to working correctly again.

Thanks again for sharing your feelings.  You are very young to have a metal hip, but I hope it gives you much joy and gets you back to being active.  Thank Goodness for hip resurfacing!

Pat

[TomBuell]

I definitely teared up in hospital PT on the day after my RBHR when I could tell, even through the pain meds and surgical soreness, that my old arthritis pain was gone. It was an emotional moment.
- Tom

[ahershberger]

I am in my 4th week of recovery and felt when I left the heavy meds behind and started on tylenol, I cried off and on for a couple of days. I think one reason was my left hip still needs to get done... and a little disappointment in my husband's full support.  He was good for about a week and then after that, he wasn't happy keeping the household (and his career) running without all of my capablilites.  But truth be told, it is a coming to terms with our imperfect,failing and aging bodies.  I am 46 but in my mind and heart about 30...

[TomBuell]

Alison - It sounds like your husband needs to show a little more appreciation for the support you give him...
- Tom

[ahershberger]

You are right Tom! And lucky for him he gets another chance in December.
Alison

[kb134]

Alison,
the recovery period after surgery is a very intense time, as you know!, and I am sorry to hear that you feel the lack of support in your marriage right now.  This is an incredibly vulnerable time for you, and for him.  Do you two talk about this?  What kind of "patient" are you?  Of course, I will not assume I know your situation, but from the outside, I can only suggest because it is my desire to see you thrive in this new life ahead of you, and your husband.  Yes its hard, but it can be done.  Is there anything underlying in your marriage?  Past resentment - from either side, or anything of the sort?  Are you expressing your needs and desires?  Does he know that you don't feel his support?  Or are you silent about it?  You'll find your way girl.  We're here for you. 
Blessings.

[Big Bill]

Emotions...Emotional  ... I was told by my wife, that as they were wheeling me to my roon from post op recovery, that I was saying , in a louder than normal vioce... "RESURFACING, RESURFACING, RESURFACING  !!!!! Yep , Big Bill is  a screamer    I remember as soon as I woke up from surgery I asked the nurses , were they able to do the resurfacing    They said YES.... and I cried tears of joy !  A good friend told me today that I should be very happy (and I am )...some people NEVER get a second chance  at anything....Bill, you got a second chance. I wish everyone a second chance.....

        Big Bill  C.A.S.H    7/9/08   

[takilasunrise]

The 2nd day in PT in the hospital, I started to cry, but what got me started was I watched this elderly woman sobbing and crying out while the therapists were trying to get her to stand up from her wheelchair and then sit down on the bed.  Turned out she was almost 100 years old, she didn't speak English and there was an interpreter there trying to translate for her.  Even though I didn't understand her language, you knew what she was saying when she was crying out!  My nurse told me later her age and said she had fallen out of bed (in a nursing home) and broke her hip.  I cried and almost couldn't stop.  I was feeling sorry for myself then saw this poor lady wondering why she was being put through this.  I can imagine she was probably thinking I'm done with living, let me be in peace.  My therapist asked me what was wrong.  I told her it was just a release of emotions, being in pain for so long, dealing with surgery pain right now, wondering why I just put myself through this, seeing this poor woman suffering.  She told me it's ok, it's normal.  Pain takes a lot out of you.  I cried a couple of more times after I got home.  Once when I couldn't get out of the car and my husband had to lift me out.  And then that night when I went to lay down and I couldn't move myself to get comfortable.  Again, my husband helped me back up and sat me in the recliner.  And a day or two later, I couldn't stand up out of the recliner, no matter what I tried (he saved the day again and lifted me up).  I think that had to do with not being able to take care of myself because I am a very independent person and I'm not used to relying on anyone to help me.  My husband was very understanding, at least for the 1st two weeks!  Then he too got tired of doing "my jobs", but he still understood what I was going through.  Nothing against you men hippies, but I don't think a lot of men have that motherly, nurturing instinct in them when someone is sick or hurt.  My husband tried, believe me, but you could tell it was awkward for him.  Once I was able to get up and start moving around on my own, could take my shower, dress, etc., I started to feel like my old self again, minus the arthritic pain I suffered with!  I started feeling like a new person, literally!  When you get to the point of doing the things that caused you so much pain before, you'll stand there just mesmerized, thinking, wow, I didn't think I'd ever be able to do this again..............and you'll think, it was all worth it!