hesitant, nervous, excited etc need help here is my story

[avilax777]

To first understand why i feel this way you have to know a little about my story.  I have had AVN of both hips for over 12 years when i first started 12 years ago i could barely walk and needed a cane or other assistance.  I was determined to cute it or at least i thought.  I went though a huge journey of stem cells, HA injections, PRP, acupuncture etc.  This lead me to be able to  walk and stand and be way better then where i started from.  I was able to travel and walk a lot especially the last few year I was traveling everywhere.  However, this year when I took my MRI (because i felt something changed) for the first time I noticed more change in my left hip (which is the bad one) for the worse.  In the past year it seemed like it was getting better.  I finally felt like I have given it all i could so I decided to look back at hip resurfacing again ( I was scheduled with Dr Amztudz many years ago, but I never had the surgery).   I narrowed it down to Dr Gross and I had a phone consult with him and felt good enough to want to fly to see him for a consult.  Then a few days later and out the blue Dr Pritchetts name came up and his snynovo devise came up.  I felt that this devise fulfilled all my hesitation.  However, when I talked to Dr Pritchet on the phone I was disappointed that he would use the BHR on me.   I still had a feeling that i needed to see him.  Long story short I saw Dr Gross talked with him for over an hour was totally impressed and thought this is my guy.  On the same trip i decided to see Dr Pritchett as well when i meet with him I was equally impressed and he also spent over an hour with me, and did say he would use the snynovo on me (maybe because when he saw me in person he saw that I am smaller built male).

I didn't know who to choose i went back and forth but in the end I decided on Dr Pritchett based on a few factors and his devise.   He  and his assistant susan have been great answering my questions and guiding me.   

I am a little over 2 weeks from surgery and I keep thinking what am I doing I am not in pain why would i want to go though pain to be able to do more activities.  Then I think of all the activities I have not done in 12 years like rollerblading, walking or standing without limitation,  dancing and i realize as long as i am in my limitation I am not in pain.  This last week i decided to get on the treadmill and during my walk run for a minute, well that was enough to aggravate it.   So  here I am saying well if I just walk for 20 to 30 minutes I am ok i sit for a few minutes and keep going and I am not in pain.  I am sitting here typing this crossing my legs and don't feel any pain.  But I do feel the need to sit because my muscles get tired.   Just typing this I realize I am answering my own question and realize that because I have lived like this for 12 years they are no longer limitations and maybe I finally woke up and said this is enough.   

I want to know how you hippies dealt with this anxiety, how did you motivate or prepare mentally for surgery,  anyone had a similar story that can share.  I have this other fear that I wont be as good as I am now that I would go backwards, that I wont be able to do the tings I want.   It would be great to get some motivation and inspiring words that I can look at when I am thinking of jumping ship, because deep down i know its time.  Help!!!

thanks
avi

[Joe_CA]

Hi avi,

I understand your level of nervousness at this point, where you are so close to getting the procedure done. From being involved on this website, I've learned that the levels of concern and anxiety run the entire emotional spectrum. Some are deathly afraid of the surgery, and find themselves questioning their decision right up the final hours of the operation. While others can't wait for it to occur, and are actually impatient with a "let's get this thing over with!" attitude. I was in the latter category, but I think that's simply a matter of individual personality makeup and genetics. It's totally understandable and reasonable to be anxious about this serious medical decision.

What assuaged some of my concerns was the personal accounts of patients of hip resurfacing as told on this website. If you read enough of the stories here, and the results of the surgeons who publish their data, you'll find that your odds of having a successful outcome are far in your favor. Skilled surgeons like Dr. Pritchett and Dr. Gross have amazing statistics. Sadly, there are histories of complications, but these are relatively rare.

I would assume the biggest motivator for many here, in addition to the positive outcome probability, is looking ahead at a pain-free life, and the ability to perform all the fun activities and sports which you have had to end (or curtail) for many years. Like you, I lived with arthritis for more than a decade. In my mind, I asked: "What did I have to lose?". I was already miserable,  beaten down, and on my last days of being athletic. Even if the results of my resurfacing surgery failed, I could have eventually received a THR and at least the pain would have ended.

Nobody can talk you out of being worried about this upcoming event. However, the odds truly are in your favor.

Good luck!

[avilax777]

joe thanks for the message and when I talked to susan she said that anxiety is a normal part of this procedure and expected.   But trusting that you are in good hand and trusting your surgeon is key and that she had worked with him for many many year and totally has trust in him for her family members.  Her words helped put me at ease and also i have printed a lot of stories and communications with members here that is inspiring.

thanks

[HipToTry]

HI Avi

It's so ironic that I came across this post today.
I'm in the exact same place you are.  I'm scheduled to get my hip resurfaced this Friday  (in 2 days) with Dr Marwin in NYC.  I have been avoiding certain activities with increasing frequency but I currently don't feel as bad as I expected I should when I scheduled this.  I'm still walking a couple miles a day.  I do feel that I have a bit more of a limp now but nothing crazy.  I can pretty much do most things during the day that I normally would do although some cause me pain, but it's not horrible.  Sitting in a car for extended periods makes it much worse but I don't drive a ton.  This summer I had an incident where I got twisted and it locked up for a couple days.  That was really bad and I don't want it to happen again, but since then I've been feeling better.

I feel like I'm locked in a mental battle between reasons to get it over with and reasons to put it off till I feel significantly worse.  I know everyone I've spoken to has said that they wish they'd gotten their replacements sooner.  Do I wait until I'm more debilitated and just put up with the pain?  I'm basically rationalizing it by telling myself I'll be able to return to full activity without worrying.

I guess my message to you is that you're not alone.   Whatever you decide, own it and don't look back. 

-Scott

[hernanu]

It takes a long way to get to this point, where you are committing to major change.  Humans are very adaptable, we can put up with almost anything if it's a gradual thing. 

I spent a lot of time rationalizing things as my health deteriorated and my limitations grew. I played basketball (twice a week), soccer (twice a week), tae kwon do (three times a week), lifted weights and worked out, then helped coach my girls in their sports and... oh - worked and had a life.

When the arthritis hit, it wasn't like a tsunami, it was a trickle, a slight warm feeling in the hip, etc. So light that my doctor didn't know what it was. I had increasing tenseness and tightness in the muscles that she thought it might be a muscular issue or a spinal issue. I had thorough (and painful) tests done for both and ... nothing.  Time passed, and my greatest love - tae kwon do went bye bye. Then it was basketball (both the league and pickup), then I got stubborn and kept up with soccer despite increasing pain.

The problem is that it's not increasing and always there. It fades, feels good for a bit and then returns. So I thought to myself - well, I'm a tough guy and can gut it out.  I even (since my doctor had no clue) thought I'd shock my body into submission, so I signed up for a 13 week Gym Boot camp, where they trained us at tripple speed.  Needless to say that wasn't any help, but I had no clue what was going on.

All of this was mixed in with increasing pain. But since I didn't want it to, it didn't feel THAT abnormal. Just pain and people said that as you grow older, you feel pain. 

The point was brought home to me finally when I was buying a TV cabinet at Costco. It came in a large box, and I walked up to it with a large cart in hand. Another latin guy walked up to me and said "you want some help with that?" and I looked at him strange, since I am more than capable of handling a box "No thanks (in spanish) I can handle it". He said "no you can't, I've seen you walking and you're limping all over the place"

I was insulted. But then I thought - was I limping? and so I asked him - he said "Yup homes, you are swaying every time you take a step". So I thanked him, we loaded the box and I (apparently) limped my way home.

That's when I cleared my mind a bit and realized I had gotten used to my own pain and my body, in trying to be the best it could be reacted with the best motion it could.  It was time to really look into this. I found out I had arthritis, and eventually had both hips resurfaced since I had no cartilage left.

My point is that I had spent seven years in pain and had become accustomed to it. When, after the first surgery I came to and realized my old friend pain had left (I still had surgery pain, but that's different), I noticed just how much of that pain I had been carrying and normalizing. 

My formerly "good hip", the next one to be repaired, which I thought was not a great problem, showed just how much pain it was in once my first was fixed.

I think when you reach the point where you decide to have the surgery, all sorts of anxiety come up, but this issue doesn't go away. The solution is major surgery for sure, but you have a great chance to be whole and to get your life back. I'm (soon to be) eight years and my hips have been the least of my issues.

Good luck...

[catfriend]

I think hernanu gave a great answer. I will email you in the next couple of days as time permits. But all those things you said you haven't been able to do for years? You'll be able to do them after you recover from surgery. Pat just posted a video from Mr. McMinn on cross-linked poly cups. (warning: there is one bloody shot) In it there is a ballet dancer featured. (I believe she was the first patient with his new - still testing - device.) When you see her stretch and dance you will understand.

[avilax777]

Wow hiptotry your message really hit me.  I am a little worse then you can do a couple of miles but I can do what i want i am fit and just so confused, but its about making your mind up I guess and just doing it.  You surgery is today so I wish you the best of luck.  I have been trying to stay busy so that I just dont think about it.  Another thing we have in common is I had an accident too on a scooter about a year and half ago and that changed everything it really inflamed things.   The one advise i can give you that really made me finally give in is that i realized how much my body has been compensating and that after 12 year and looking into the future this would not be good for my body.  Because as we age our bodies become less forgiving so sooner or late i would have to do the surgery and also the longer i wait the more my body would get out of balance and the weaker i would become and I figured its harder to get back to activities when you pass 50 (my current age) then when you pass 40 (38 is when i got avn).

Hernanv thanks for the really well felt message.  It was really well put and made me realized i said bye bye to a lot of things but you are right our body and mind has a way of adjusting and we forget what those things were.  For me it was also social things dancing, going out with friends any place i have to sit too much i usually have to leave them to go sit.  I dont think I am going back from this its time and my hip is ready its been hurting and I am due for my HA injection and now I see that just to continue in this life i have to get constant injections.  Your post made me think a lot of all the things i have been doing to keep a bad friend around.  It like making excuses for a bad relationship time to break it up.

With this note I really want to thank all the people on this site that I have emailed personally and have answered all my questions and pat for giving us this gift. 

[tohandley]

This topic really hit home for me so thank you all for your comments. 
I had my right hip done by Dr. Boettner on 10/10/18 at HSS in New York. 
Going into the the surgery I too had serious reservations.   
About three years ago playing Basketball was where I really noticed my hip was not right.  It also bothered me training for and running obstacle course races.    I finally came to the point that I wanted a solution so that I could go back to playing and training more than I had in the past few years as opposed to accepting these new limitations as just another part of getting older.   
The tough part for me I ran a triathlon on the Saturday before my surgery and attended a boot camp workout that Sunday.   And I really didn’t feel any dramatic hip pain that whole weekend. 
Dr. Boettner had pointed out though that I had complete flattening of the cartilage is two areas.  He said I could hold off if I wanted but it was inevitable that In 6 months to a year I would need the procedure.   

So I decided to just do it.   

Honestly in these past few weeks I’ve had moments about whether I did the right thing since I’m way behind where I was pre surgery.   
However, there’s no turning back now and this sight has filled me with optimism that i can eventually be back to doing everything I used to do and perhaps even more. 
Thank you all for posting.  This site is an awesome source of information.   
Best of luck to everyone in their recovery!
Tim

[avilax777]

tohandley you can do a lot more then I can but what i learned is just like how we all heal differently we all react differently to the same disease or degeneration.   But what I also learned is that our body learns to compensate to allow us to do these things with me over the years my posture leans more to the right, my left hip bone grew larger then my right, my right leg hurts more even though its the good one,  my knees hurt so at some point our bodies scream to us before we do.  I was told 12 years ago that I would need to do this I held out and still can but once I noticed that it was not isolating itself to my left hip it was effecting my body and me mentally is when I decided time to do something.   

[avilax777]

I wanted to give everyone an update.  I had my surgery November 7 I am a little over a week out.   I am so happy i found Dr Pritchett he is amazing and he is probably one of the few doctors that had enough products in stock to deal with my circumstances.  Turns out I had about a 1cm hole in my hip witch showed up in my MRI which meant that he could not do uncemented because my bone stock was not enough.  Second my femur is small for a male it was 47mm.   I ended up with a synvo acetabular and biomet femur.  Never knew that you can do a combo like that.

My surgery exceeded my dreams was walking an hour after surgery and on the way to the hotel 3 hours after.  Pain was very minimal was walking with a walking that night, had minor nausea  the first 24 hours.  Next day after surgery i was doing my exercises and walking regularly.  Flew back to Los Angeles 3 days after but had to see Dr pritchett who came in on a saturday because my dressing was bleeding he changed it and off we went. 

 I have been walking daily up to half a mile at a time yesterday i walked a total of 1.5 miles not at one shot.  Pain is still here an there i try to stop the tramdol and switch to tylanol but when I do that I pay for it at night so ill just stick to tramdol for a few more days. 

Overall it was much easier and the best thing this implant feel natural i would not know its there if its not for the surgery pain.   

I will post more details story to help everyone when I am fully recovered.  I wanted to thank everyone and pat. 

[rag33]

I was going to write a similar message when I came across this. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so glad your surgery went well.

I'm having surgery with Dr. De Smet on Wednesday. My excitement has turned to anxiety and terror of what if...I've been a competitive runner since high school and a black belt in aikido. Like hernanu said, it's a trickle. I dropped my mileage, dropped my frequency and now can't even walk up stairs or get out of bed without support. This summer when my was locking every single time I stood up and was woken up by the pain at night, I said this is enough...

so having feedback from this community is so helpful. Thanks to everyone!