Depression

[curt]

     Hi Ruby, sorry to hear about the slip and fall.  I know that must feel like a huge setback at this point.  We all have low points that kinda show us we have to get things taken care of.  You've been dealing with yours for two years.  Use the opportunity for getting your hip fixed, and the steps that lie ahead to achieve that like a lighthouse.  Urging you on, not in pain and frustration, but in the hope that things can and will be better once the right person is finally helping you.  Keep the faith, and know that lots of desperate and hopeless hip cases are here and can keep you focused on the "prize" of putting all that pain behind you.  Best of luck, I'm pullin' for ya.   Curt

[Pat Walter]

Ruby

I am so sorry to hear about your fall.  I know you will get support and PT.  Please try to think about how your life will be after getting over this fall and getting your hip taken care of.  I understand how you feel.  I fell and broke my foot 3 years ago.  The pain was terrible and I had to keep in a cast boot for 12 weeks because I was older and the bones in your feet heal more slowly when you are older.  I felt like I was in prison and unable to do anything.  The doctors said it would heal and I would walk OK again, but it was hard to believe them - yet I did recover and never know I broke my foot.

A year after that recovery, I found out I had to have a new aortic valve by open heart surgery.  It came on fast and if I did not have the surgery, I was given 6 months to several years to live.  I once again, could not do anything.  I could not even walk from my living room chair to the kitchen without being out of breath and tired.  I faced open heart surgery alone since my ex of 34 years left me to marry my best friend.  Life looked pretty bad at the point.  My friends came thru for me and ONCE AGAIN, I had surgery with a very slow recovery.  I could not even lift my hand to feed myself because I was so week for a couple weeks.  I could hardly walk, but slowly, I recovered and have a great active life again.  I tell you my story, not for pity, but to explain that somehow we all manage to get thru all these curves life throws us. The uphill climb to recovery looks very far away and impossible - but somehow, someway - we recover.  The recovery makes you a stronger person and really makes you realize how important each and every day is.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  I know you too, will climb each mountain and eventually be back to a life without hip and back problems.  Sometimes, we just have to be patient and be positive no matter what we face.

Pat

[hipnhop]

Ruby, I suffered some severe depression after my first HR.  I got help and felt better within weeks.  There are so many unknowns, talk to someone about it.  Also see a psychiatrist. Thery might recommend some meds tp help. I had to try three before I found one that worked for me.  I used to sit and stare at my computer or just lay in bed. I slept a lot.  they were not concerned too much about the sleeping. they said that is a natural reaction to major surgery - your body wants to rest.  My gloomy outlook and depression is what they helped me through. Everything is surely not coming up roses but I have a different way of dealing with the setback from surgery, the pain from my un-operated hip and the loss of running.

I got help and it made all the difference.

Hip

[rubyred]

Ruby, I suffered some severe depression after my first HR.  I got help and felt better within weeks.  There are so many unknowns, talk to someone about it.  Also see a psychiatrist. Thery might recommend some meds tp help. I had to try three before I found one that worked for me.  I used to sit and stare at my computer or just lay in bed. I slept a lot.  they were not concerned too much about the sleeping. they said that is a natural reaction to major surgery - your body wants to rest.  My gloomy outlook and depression is what they helped me through. Everything is surely not coming up roses but I have a different way of dealing with the setback from surgery, the pain from my un-operated hip and the loss of running.

I got help and it made all the difference.

Hip

Hi Hip,

I have good days and bad days. On my days it effects everything... how I percieve myself mainly. I feel half a woman, not desireable etc. It effects my relationship with my partner who I seem to whinge and moan on to about how unattractive I feel when he has his own set of problems.

It's fast becomming more than just a hip issue now.

[Luanna]

Hi Ruby,
Good to see you posting. I am a firm believer in not letting the moods take over if you can muster it. I see a psychiatrist right now who is a huge help. He deals with people recovering and going through major health events. I started heading into the dolrums and took action. Luckily my insurance covers most of it.

Is there a professional in your area who can help you deal with and manage the stress of what you are going through?

Best wishes,
Luanna

[rubyred]

I've not posted in here for awhile.

I consider myself to be worse mentally than I was when I last posted. My relationship ended back in January, and he told me that whenever I talk about my hip it makes him feel guilty :(

I lost, what I thought, was a good friend due to my sadness about it all. He said my misery makes him sad and he just cannot cope with it or me. I feel like i'm losing everything that is important to me... all because of a hip.

[hernanu]

Hi ruby, sorry you're having to deal with this, you are right to feel badly that all of that happened.

It is hard to find that someone you care about can't go the full distance with you, but your pain is real and undeniable. I was also depressed when dealing with the untreated hip pain. I have read your posts, and know that you're in a kind of limbo right now, since you are not quite there for an HR and you've had an arthroscopy that didn't help.

People who have not had serious hip pain have NO idea of what it's like. No matter your intent to not let it rule you, your hip will make you pay attention. I have a hard time seeing how talking about your hip makes someone else feel guilty - in a relationship, you need to share the downs as well as the ups. I think the truth is what he mentioned - he just can't cope with your needs when you are in pain. That's truth, not the other things he mentioned. Sorry that turned out to be the case.

Is the next step for you an MRI? Hope you're still talking to a counselor about all of this.

[Anna]

Chin up Ruby. Things will get better. I have hip Dysplasia too ....  If you want to chat then feel free to PM me x

[rubyred]

Thank you Anna - I often go through really bad patches like this. I try not to let it get to me, but sometimes it doesn't give me a choice.

And thank you too, Hern. With regards to the relationship, he has a lot of emotional, difficult issues himself and I think my problems just added on to what already was a full plate. My next step with the hip plan is a CT scan to assess my cartilage damage, i'm just awaiting an appointment for that now. I was seeing a counsellor, but it just got too expensive :( £35 a week on top of paying for chiropratic treatment was just too much....

[Dannywayoflife]

Oh Ruby I wish I could help you! Did Mr Treacy say that if in the future your joint space deteriorated anymore that he could do you a hr?

[rubyred]

Oh Ruby I wish I could help you! Did Mr Treacy say that if in the future your joint space deteriorated anymore that he could do you a hr?

Mr Bache told me my hips future is a replacement no matter what they do, my joint space will deteriorate without question. I asked Mr Treacy the same question and he said if a patient comes to him in THAT much pain and everything else had been tried and failed, it leaves him no option but to perform surgery, but in someone as young as me (31) and with not enough OA yet he wouldn't want to do that on me at this stage. It's all about preserving my natural hip for as long as physically possible.

I just can't imagine being stuck with this sort of life for years until the OA warrants surgery. I barely have a life now. I feel the next stage is a wheelchair :( I know that sounds dramatic, but I need help getting dressed, climbing and descending stairs, getting in and out of a car.. I just about get in and out of the bath but that's only because i'm way too stubborn to let that bit of my dignity go.

[Dannywayoflife]

Oh ruby I really wish I could help you!

[Spanielsal]

Oh Ruby, I'm so sorry. I'm with you every step right now, my MRI said the same thing, not enough for surgical intervention. Perhaps if you get the CT and then go back to Mr Treacy and tell him what you have posted here? Surely humanity will prevail. Xxxx

[rubyred]

I have told them what my quality of life is like now. I think that could be why they're looking at other alternatives rather than just sending me on my way, but if the CT scan doesn't show anything, i'm not opposed to begging for help lol. ;D

I've sat in front of Mr Treacy, sobbing because i'd just had enough of the pain. Bless him, he didn't bat an eyelid, just listened, asked loads of questions and said he'd try to think of another option for me.

[metoo]

I would think that an X-ray could miss a few things.  It would show spacing, but may not identify other issues.    Did the Doctor discuss the differences between using a CT scan versus an MRI for diagnosis?  I don't know much about the imaging technologies, just wondering whether that question came up.

[rubyred]

All Mr Bache had to go on was my current set of xrays and an MRI report (no images, as my old hospital forget to send them  ::)) I now have copies of those on disc ready to  give to Mr Bache on my next appointment with him where hopefully with my CT results and these MRI images he can have a better idea of what he is dealing with.

[Spanielsal]

Hopefully with your new hip portfolio you'll get some help Ruby!  ;) you never know with all the imaging they might be able to see more. Have my fingers crossed for you. Xxx

[Tin Soldier]

Yeah, agreed.  New Hip Portfolio, maybe there'll be a nugget of info for the doc and you'll be on your way.  Wishing the best for you.

[rubyred]

Thanks everyone for their support! It really helps knowing there are people who can truly understand the pain that goes with hip problems. My family and friends try their best, but I think they really struggle to fully grasp just how desperate you can feel at times.

I read something today that baffled me. I work for an NHS hospital dealing with Orthopaedic patients so I read a lot about the different conditions people go through. There was a gentleman today, in his 60's who's been diagnosed with severe OA, and yet he says he has virtually no pain - in fact he's just come back from a walking holiday through the Pyramids in Egypt!! Yet, here's me... with next to no OA and I can barely put one foot infront of the other on a good day! Good on the guy to be honest, but I couldn't help but feel ever so slightly envious.

[Dannywayoflife]

Ruby its amazing what the human body can grow used to. I had pretty bad OA i was bone on bone but i had virtually no pain or so i though. It was only when i was reasonably well recovered that i realised how much pain i had been in but had just subconsiously blocked out.
When is it you see your Consultant again?
Danny