No doubt about it. Facing the idea of surgery sucks. There are risks. And usually by the time you decide to go ahead with it you've come to a point where you'd much rather take the risks than continue living with the hand you've been dealt.
We all know that choosing the right surgeon is paramount. Let me repeat that: choosing the right surgeon is paramount. It's by far the most important thing. So you do your research and make the best decision you can. You know when you're ready. And when you are you put your trust and faith in your surgeon and the other capable professionals that help you through.
But there's still a part that belongs to you and that's your mental attitude.
Yes everyone's circumstance is different. Everyone heals at their own pace. But I do believe that how you think affects how you heal, and it certainly affects how you cope with whatever obstacles you may face.
In my case I researched and researched and researched some more. That's how I am. I don't trust easily and I don't have blind faith in doctors. I respect the medical profession big time, but I firmly believe that we have to fight to get the care we deserve.
The hip is complicated. It really is. Seemed so daunting in the beginning. I was searching for a way to avoid surgery, so I was trying to learn all I could. I couldn't find the info I needed, so I was going to figure it out for myself. Good information is really hard to come by through normal channels. After you research for a long enough time you notice the same info regurgitated. A lot of it is marketing as well. Where is the real truth? When you're trying to dig deep it seems there's only so deep you can go. It actually took me probably years before I discovered resurfacing. Or maybe it was there and I didn't accept it as valid, so I didn't notice it back then.
I learned all about the hip. The names of the structures and how they work. I studied my own x-rays and any others that I could find. I learned about the procedures. I watched surgeries on youtube. I would learn one thing and that was raise new questions so I'd search for those answers. And round and round it went.
By the time I met Dr. Gross for the first time about 10 months ago -- over the phone for my consultation -- I felt (jokingly) like I could almost perform the surgery myself with I know LOL.
And was I really going to travel across the country to have surgery by someone I never met in person? How do vet this guy, just from internet research? To get a procedure done that most doctors recommend against? To fly out to South Carolina when I live in Los Angeles which one of the best medical centers in the country? This was hard to explain rationally to other people.
But I digress. Back to the mental game.
I think a key pillar is to be 100% comfortable in your decision. Whether you're a deep researcher like I am or not, you need to feel good about your decision. One of the reasons I waited so long for have the surgery was because I wasn't at the point yet where I could say this is it (resurfacing), that's my doctor, and I'm ready.
When I got to that point I contacted the doctors on my short list and ending up setting a date with Dr. Gross. Even then I kept in mind that could back out at any time. Up until the very last moment as they were prepping me for surgery there was still a part of me that was saying I could back out right now. I even asked my girlfriend that when we fly out there, if she sees anything, ANYTHING, that's not right or if she has any strange feelings to not hesitate to bring them up. Because even though we are there having bought the plane tickets and hotel we can still turn around and go home if it doesn't feel right. But after meeting the doctor and seeing the hospital she was 100% sure herself.
When I let them sedate me for the surgery I thought to myself, well I guess I'm not backing out. I felt I had made the right decision for me and I was ready.
Here's another point on mental game: Once I made the decision -- in that I booked the surgery and booked the flights and hotel and the ball was rolling -- I shifted my mental mode. I still researched and still looked for reasons not to proceed but more as a final due diligence. Other than that I started to imagine a great outcome. I stopped the what-ifs and worry. As I approached surgery I listened to a guided imagery audio that helped me a lot. I imagined the surgeons being incredibly skilled and professional. I imagined the surgery going flawlessly. I imagined my body responding perfectly and naturally without any intervention on my part. I imagined my guardian angels were watching over me. I imagined a smooth and 100% complete recovery. So another key pillar is to imagine the best. It will project it onto the universe and make it so. Plus, the mind mobilizes the body, so align them.
With that said, part of my decision was an agreement with myself that if I decide to cross this line and have this surgery, which is irreversible, that I will accept whatever happens -- good or bad -- and deal with it. It's a resignation of sorts where I will accept whatever the outcome. No looking back. If things don't go well I will accept it and I will deal with it. Part of the decision is being prepared (mentally, emotionally) to deal with whatever comes as a result. No looking back, no regrets. That's another key pillar.
And finally I hoped for the best and prepared for the worst. I honestly felt I was going to have a very slow and difficult recovery. Just basing this on where I believed I was physically. It may seem contradictory but while I was imagining the best outcome I was preparing for an extended time off work. I made sure I didn't book and gigs for 6 weeks after surgery. I arranged for help as if I was going to be practically bedridden or at least in need of lots of assistance for a few weeks. The opposite happened, my recovery was nothing short of amazing. (Well yes I did need assistance in the beginning but it was far less than I thought, especially after a week or two.) With my expectations being somewhat low, of course I was thrilled with my progress. Had my expectations been that I'd be running around like practically nothing happened after a few days I would have been very disappointed. So the last key pillar is manage your expectations.
In summary, the key pillars (IMHO of course):
- Feel confident in your decision.
- Imagine the best outcome; positive thoughts.
- Be prepared to accept and deal with whatever comes your way. No looking back, no regrets. You can handle it.
- Be realistic in your expectations. Your body will heal at it's own pace. Allow it to happen. Make room in your life for this.
Very little editing, so hope it reads well.
Now smile.
Would love to hear other thoughts on the topic as well!