Get My Mind Right

[joedb123]

Half,

That ain't the kind of "bawlin" I plan on doing ;)!!!

G'night gang!

[hipnhop]

 I think part of the problem is that people, including me, are reluctant to share mental health issues. I heard that a politician would fare better to admit an adulterous affair than being in mental health therapy. IT IS STIGMATIZED SO MUCH. I can tell me friends about my ten inch scar and how I almost passed out the first day after surgery and the think I'm the man. But if I talk about crying and being scared, they tell me to put the "H" on my chest and "Handle" it.

Well I simply can't.  I need to get it out. I normally go running, swimming or do some other exhausting activity to help me deal with anxiety/depression. The day before my surgery I swam 3 miles non-stop. I cant do that now so I'll cry, read Cory Foulk story on surface hippy, or watch the Ironman video of the father who pulls his paraplegic son through 140.6 miles of hell - anything to give me hope. I am so tired of worrying about a blood clot, a fracture, or a freaking infection.


Joe you choose to "light the candle than curse the darkness." Humor helps. I try to remember that others have more severe issues. It only makes me upset that we don't recognize a mental part of what people go through, especially our troops and all the people who can't even afford health insurance, let alone resurfacing?  Thanks God for good hearts.


Halfdone - great research article. I truly believe that surgeons dont' see a value in dealing with the mental issue as well as the physical. They are not trained to. It is said that a doctor treats, a physician heals. We need more physicians. You article supports that point.

I'll leave you with this. My attempt at the Ironman World Championship was cut short a week out from the race by a bad reaction to a Cortisone shot. As a result I had to have Hip Resurfacing. Prior to the race, my coach sent me this note. I read it to help me remember that I am not a stranger to pain and hard work and, most importantly, that I can't do this alone. Thank you my Hippy Ninjas
ed
www.ironman4youth.com

Note from Coach Steve:

"Big Ed,

Here’s a little secret for you.  Getting to the finish line of an Ironman is not the hard part.  Getting to the starting line is.

Which is why 99% of the population doesn’t even try.  It requires pain and sacrifice.  It requires losing time with your loved ones, doing the Brick From Hell when you really don’t want to, endlessly running in a pool, enduring the physical pain and the constant fatigue.

You, my friend, are just a few steps away from the starting line.  That’s the hard part!!!  The race…well, that’s the gift.  You won’t be alone in Kona, dude.  No one does an Ironman alone.
Hang in there."

[einreb]

I think part of the problem is that people, including me, are reluctant to share mental health issues. I heard that a politician would fare better to admit an adulterous affair than being in mental health therapy. IT IS STIGMATIZED SO MUCH. I can tell me friends about my ten inch scar and how I almost passed out the first day after surgery and the think I'm the man. But if I talk about crying and being scared, they tell me to put the "H" on my chest and "Handle" it.

I'll bite on that...

I ended up going to a shrink prior to scheduling surgery.  I had so much going through my head just managing life with a small business and young family that the prospect of scheduling surgery was quite overwhelming.  Also, as an engineer... I want the exact/perfect solution to problems.  That doesn't often happen in medicine.  He helped me out a great deal in making decisions with no perfect answer and lowering my life's overall stress level so that the occasional peaks of stress dealing with my hip didn't push me over the edge.

Well I simply can't.  I need to get it out. I normally go running, swimming or do some other exhausting activity to help me deal with anxiety/depression. The day before my surgery I swam 3 miles non-stop. I cant do that now so I'll cry, read Cory Foulk story on surface hippy, or watch the Ironman video of the father who pulls his paraplegic son through 140.6 miles of hell - anything to give me hope. I am so tired of worrying about a blood clot, a fracture, or a freaking infection.

My overall outlook has changed considerably for the positive post surgery.  I've had several people tell me that I just look more relaxed and happy. That's the 'overall' improvement.  There have been lots of 'bummer' moments and emotional swings.  

A few weeks back I dropped something and realized that I'd have to get my crutches and it was going to be super tough to get to it and pick it up.  I freaking lost it... picked up a plate and whipped it across the kitchen putting a huge dent in the cabinet.  I did this in front of my 6 year old daughter.  To say that I was horribly embarrassed is a huge understatement.

Yesterday was warmer and sunny... I should have been out on the bike putting in base miles.  I'm not supposed to ride until August, what a bummer.  

Overcome by submitting, gain by yielding... easier said than done, but I'm working on it.

[hipnhop]

Einreb, I hear you. It is more mental than physical, at least in my opinion. 

As each day passes I fell like I'm normalizing.  Sometimes I want to push myself (walk a mile, swim, etc.) to prove to myself that I am getting better. I have to avoid those self-defeating behaviors that will only set me back.  I am trying to trust the PT, Surgeon and the numbers. Statistically, we have a 95% chance of this working.

For me it is a realizing that I am so vulnerable. I was upstairs in my room and heard a noise downstairs. Fear came over me because I had no way of fleeing the situation. My first instinct would be to run, jump out a window, just get to safety.  When I realized there was no way that was going to happen I felt so powerless.  Thank God it was just fallen mop.  When you cant follow your most basic instinct - flee (i can't fight), it does something to you. I will never get a gun but I am thinking abut a bow an arrow (lol).

I can't imagine what is it like to have small children around (all my kids are grown). 

Like so many others have said, each day I get better.  I am going into my third week and start counseling this week to help with some of the anxiety and depression.  Time seems to be going by so slow these days but I'm starting to enjoy going to bed at 9:00pm.  I got some Ambien which helps me sleep. 

Best of luck

[newdog]

hip,
You bring up an excellent point that I have not seen addressed on this forum. I have felt the same way you do about being vulnerable. I still do. It doesn't feel very good when you can't even run from a possibly dangerous situation such as the one you described. I go for walks and hikes and I couldn't run from a mean dog or a bear! Not that I could out run them with good hips but at least I could do something. We are not used to feeling helpless. I can't stand being around a group of people especially when there are little kids running around out of control. It feels like they are going to run into me.

The vulnerable feeling is part of this process and I admit I didn't think about it before surgery. Now we know how the very elderly and physically challenged must feel.

I suggest just be careful and aware when you are out in public. While still using a crutch or cane you can use that to guard yourself when someone isn't paying attention and are maybe about to run into you. (Don't smack them with it, use it to block with.  ;) Just guard that precious new hip.

Hang in there, the bad times will pass soon I'm sure. Let us know how you make out.

Steve  (newdog)

[FlbrkMike]

I go for walks and hikes and I couldn't run from a mean dog or a bear!

Remember, though, you usually don't need to outrun a bear.  You just have to outrun whoever you're hiking with.

;D

[hipnhop]

Mike, that's hilarious!!!! I think I'll go camping with some THR folks (that's coldddddd!!!!)

[pasinvabch]

Mike and hipnhop, you guys are too funny!!

[hipnhop]

For what it's worth, counseling is a big help.  I added that to my recovery schedule and i think it is the best thing I did.  I was concerned that I was a little unmotivated about work (depression) but it helped me understand that the problem wasn't lack of motivation. I am motivated to heal, advocate for best health care, learn as much about HR and bone growth as possible, recover, etc.  In fact my surgeon says I am her most motivated patient. 

After such a traumatic experience (I was on crutches and in sever pain sex months post op), I am just taking care of business. There is nothing wrong woith giving yourself time to heal physically and mentally.

Dont forget about getting your mind right.  You can't walk straight if you don't know where you're going ( i think I just created a new quote).

[phillwad]

hipnhop
Thanks for the post.  I got behind with a bunch of stuff at work and have been playing serious catch up the last few days.  Today I think I am back to being even

You have been a motivation for me.  Cheers - Phill

[newdog]

hipnhop,

Great post! You sound very motivated to me and I like the new quote. I've been slacking lately with my post op exercise therapy. Thanks for the inspiration.

[einreb]

sever pain sex months post op

You may not be done with therapy...  ;)

Congrats on moving forward!  I hit the 10 week mark today and am cane free... it was great for the spirits.

[newdog]

Bernie,

Cane free! You know you made it when you can ditch the crutches and cane. When I was done with mine it really lifted my spirits too! Hard to believe you are 10 weeks already.

[hipnhop]

"No Cane; No Pain!"

[phillwad]

I have my six week check up tomorrow so I hope it is "no cane" (well actually crutches) - Phill