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Author Topic: Post-op depression sets in  (Read 15083 times)

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mountaingoat

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Post-op depression sets in
« on: February 08, 2012, 06:56:19 PM »
Well, it has been 2 weeks since my bilateral and I can feel the post-op depression setting in now that the reality of this situation is hitting me. It doesn't help things that I caught a nasty flu from my husband and have been down for the count with that as well. On Monday I could barely get myself out of bed.

I've been through 3 hip surgeries and I know what I am dealing with but I still seem to inevitably get depressed about the loss of activity and  being this incapacitated. Its especially hard now that I am home and cannot pick up my daughter (9 mos.) when she topples over on the floor and cries or motions for me to pick her up. I had been quite active up until surgery so now that I am facing 4 more weeks on crutches and another 4 of a cane and no exercise of any kind for 10 weeks I am having a hard time feeling excited about much at the moment. The last few days have been classic Colorado bluebird days after the snowstorm last week...so, perfect days for getting out on xc skis or for a hike in the snow which is something I love to do on the trails behind my house. I truly am one of those people who needs to get outside and walk every day and when I can't I feel pretty blue.  I think if I hadn't already been through two prior surgeries that involved months of being stuck inside and limited in my activity I would be ok with my current situation but because there isn't any novelty in it anymore it just seems unbearable. Sometimes I think I can stand even one more day of this but I realize I don't have a choice in the matter. And then my head just goes to bad places like "What if I don't heal and always have on-going problems or something happens and I fracture my femoral neck or get AVN, etc."

Sorry if I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself...on some level I am. I've just been dealing with this for so long (4 years) and I want to tear my hair out sometimes.

 

hernanu

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2012, 07:37:48 PM »
Hey it's fine. We have all whined at one time or another, and you have good reason to. This is a good place to take it, since we've all been there.

Nothing wrong with feeling blue, since you are right at the crossroads - the newness of the surgery, everything else has worn off, so you're left with the recuperation without seeing the leaps forward that come later.

My daughters are 22 and 19, so they definitely would have killed my hips if I picked them up. I remember what they were like little, though and how good it felt to elevate them. You'll be there soon, in all phases and then won't have to deal with this again - think of what it will be like to teach her how to X-country without any pain!

Perfectly natural. I dealt with it by having a counselor I was already going to, so I just added complaints about the HR... and of course by complaining here.
Hernan, LHR 8/24/2010, RHR 11/29/2010 - Cormet, Dr. Snyder

lori.36

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2012, 08:46:36 PM »
Hi Amy,

I am sorry that you are feeling blue especially on a blue bird day.  I totally know what you mean about needing to get out and walk everyday.  I was able to walk during my recovery with my crutches and was encouraged to do so, are you not supposed to? 
Please know that this winter is not the best Colorado winter, actually there is very little powder this year, so you are not missing much.  I know that the front range got a lot of snow last week and it totally missed us in the MTNs.
All I can say is that stay postive and think about how you are going to be able to get on that bike and go for a ride in the spring time.  Think about how you can go for long walks without pain in the summer.  And think about how in the winter you are going to be able to go Skiing and XC Skiing and what a great snow year next year is going to be.
How are your incisions?  The swelling? The pain?  How was the trip back to Colorado?  Talk soon and keep your chin high and vent all you need to hear.  :)
L-BHR 5-11-2011 Dr Rector
R-HR 9-11-2015 Dr Gross

lynne123

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2012, 08:58:25 PM »
I am so sorry you are going through this and for four years no less. Chronic pain is maddening at best and we are oftentimes at the end of our rope by the time we get to our surgery.  My children are grown and have children of their own now, but I do remember just how much energy and attention a nine month old requires so I empathize with you.  This should be a time of joy, and while there is an end in sight to your pain, you aren't there yet and this ordeal is infringing on your precious time with your daughter.  Sure it's not all bad, but it's hard enough and you are entitled to your frustration and the depression part is normal.  I REALLY can relate to the need to get out each day.  I can become very depressed if I am indoors too much.  I can make it a day but it's not ideal. And if there isn't much sun, it's that much more difficult for me.  I am not one of those people that can lay in bed or lounge around much. I even have a hard time sleeping in unless I am exhausted or sick.  Last weekend my boyfriend had to leave for the weekend and I was home alone for three days.  No way to go out.  I became very depressed by day two and opted to just sleep through most of it.  Your doubts and fear about the success of your surgery are normal as well.  I have them too.  It is almost impossible at times to imagine being pain free and I feel doomed.  At that point is when I have to choose to be kind to myself and talk sense to myself.  But I'm sure you do that. It's good to vent and we are all here for you.  Like hernanu, I have a counselor I see twice a week and do a lot of my lamenting there. You're not superhuman, you are just you and mommy and wife and many other things.  Be kind to yourself your doing the best that you can and have a lot on your plate. 
Jennifer
51 years old
LBHR
1.21.12
Dr. Su
44mm cemented femoral head/50mm cup

WTW15

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2012, 11:13:02 PM »
Ok - That's it - Next Week You & Me are going out for coffee!  You'll be over the flu, I'll be able to get you into my 'burb and we'll just go toole around Boulder till we find a good place to chill for a bit.  Vic's is always good and the one off of 30th is always less crowded.  A day out in the sun or snow - whatever the day brings, but out of the house will be good.  No long jaunts - I will be sure to drop you right at the door of wherever we go.  I'll be in touch!   8)
Successful LBHR 1/19/12 Dr. Cynthia Kelly
Fear causes Hesitation and Hesitation causes your worst Fears to come true

Dan L

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2012, 11:35:56 PM »
Hang in there MG, it's perfectly understandable to everyone here, and one form or another, everyone seems to go through it.  You'll get a chance soon to squint into the sun and glide through some hopefully fluffy snow in no time, or just spring sunshine if winters goes quicker, and feel worlds better.

The trapped feeling is definitely the worst part, rings a big bell.
LBHR Dr Brooks, 10/2011; RBHR 2/2012

mountaingoat

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2012, 04:35:39 AM »
Thanks all. I appreciate the support as always. I am struggling but trying to stay on target and move forward. I am going to go back into my office next week at least part-time so that will be a good diversion and allow me to have some much-needed social interaction.

Lori - my hips are doing ok in terms of swelling, etc. The swelling is nearly normal now and my incisions are slowly healing although they still look pretty horrid - I look like I was attacked by a shark:-)  I know it has been a crappy winter in most of CO and I'm not missing much in the way of skiing but after we got 2 feet here last week I felt a little jaded. I mean, if I have to be on crutches for 6 weeks could it at least stay the lousy warm winter we were having and not start dumping snow in my backyard now!!

I do see a counselor from time to time so I have someone to talk to about feeling so depressed over this. I really think its not just the inactivity and lack of endorphins but also just the general trauma that the body undergoes with surgery - I believe this can actually trigger some depression in otherwise healthy people.

I did got out for a crutch walk today around my hood. It was cold and snowy but even being outside for 20 minutes is something.

Amy

Pat Walter

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #7 on: February 09, 2012, 12:55:35 PM »
It is not unusual for people to feel blue or depressed or sad after surgery.  You body has gone through a big trauma and you have faced the fact that you are not perfect and most likely, won't live forever.  We face the fact that we are human and things go wrong beyond our control. Fortunately, in this case, we can get things fixed. 

I have a page about people's responses about feeling depressed and having slow recoveries here  http://www.surfacehippy.info/slowrecovery.php

If you are feeling excessively depressed for a long period, please make sure you talk to someone or perhaps get some counseling with a professional.  Some people are prone to having depression and major surgery can really be a trigger to set off those bad feelings.

Webmaster/Owner of Surface Hippy
3/15/06 LBHR De Smet

johnd_emd

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #8 on: February 24, 2012, 03:23:21 PM »
Hang in there Mountaingoat.  Best thing is to try to be as active as you can during the day.  If you can get out a couple times for shorter, more frequent walks that can help.  Try to do some little, light chores around the house; like maybe cleaning out the high cupboards in the kitchen, going through your dresser getting rid of old clothes, etc.  This helps out emotionally as it helps us feel that we are still productive people.  And, try to catch up on contacting people who you haven't talked to in awhile; like relatives, friends, etc.  All these things can help to distract you from your hips.  Hey, do you have Netflix?  I started watching this series show on there called "Lie to Me".  48 episodes, and it's a real intriguing show.  Just some suggestions.  We're all rooting for ya.

I love the handle name too by the way.  Being a cyclist I always wished I was a "mountain goat".  I'm too big though.  Seems like the smaller guys who can climb sure fit that description of a Mountain Goat. 
Dr. Rector
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Two4One

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2012, 01:21:45 AM »
Well, it's official, Mountaingoat.  You've earned the post op Medal of Depression. 

This can be a tough gig, and I'm so sorry you're down.  I like what a friend from a previous life told me, "Depression can't hit a moving target."  Try to distract yourself as much as you can, download movies, learn to knit, write, do whatever you need to get through this

I've only got the three years merit badge, and not the Four Year Maple Leaf Cluster, but my two counselors were worth their weight in gold!

Good Luck 'goat, and I hope you keep whining.  It's what we hippies do.  Please PM me if there is anything at all that I can do to help.

'om
"I was inspired by the very idea of turning the wildest figments of your imagination into something real and creating a life for yourself." - Ken Ilgunas

12/11 Failed Bilateral BHR by Dr. Schmitt  3/14 Positive Metal LTT for Nickel Allergy.   11/14 Bilat Ceramic/Titanium Revisions.

blkhank

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2012, 03:44:05 AM »
Hi everyone,  I'm extremely frustrated,this is week 10 wk post op. I go back to work April 2. I work in a ICU and I'm a fraud I won't be able to do it.

I brought my horses back last wed. Ohio has a had the mildest weather ever.and I live to ride in this weather which is my stress buster. Tues  1st day without a crutch. I cleaned three horse stalls.normally  it takes about and hour ,it took 6. That's OK. My hip became sore towards the end of the day. So I iced took pain meds and went to bed.Next morning I got up and felt great, was able to walk with no crutch and no pain. Headed to the current pool,walked on circles for a hour. Felt fine.Headed out to my car,10 steps all of the sudden I couldn't walk, every step hurt bad.went home took pain meds and Iced3d my self ,it felt a little better.

I got up this morning and couldn't walk again.Used the crutch and went to PT,I'm informed that I'm having a set back.spent Ll day in a chair with ice.I know everyone heals different and it seems I'm on the slow end . I just feels like its not going to get better. Thanks for letting me vent.Everyone has been so encouraging.

Dan L

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #11 on: March 16, 2012, 03:47:09 PM »
Hank,

I can empathize with the frustration, this is no small thing to recover from, and it takes different amount of time for all of us to get back to what we love doing.  Hang in there, try to be as patient as possible (the hardest thing about recovery for sure), and do things which may cause pain in doable doses, so you lower your probability for a setback.

I've had a few minor setbacks with my first hip, and it can throw you for a loop for sure, I just took the same approach: ice, meds if needed and rest. 

Dan




LBHR Dr Brooks, 10/2011; RBHR 2/2012

Two4One

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #12 on: March 16, 2012, 08:26:09 PM »
Hang in There Hank,

You're no fraud, but IMHO, you must build in rest/PT periods during a long day and not overdo it again.  If you do that, you substantially reduce your risk of being inflamed when you return to work.  Might I suggest that you try building into your work day little PT Moves?  That will really help; I know because I do side leg lifts, etc. when everyone is standing and singing in church!  During the long sits, I'll do left lifts and isometric squeezes.  I think what really helps the most is to do three minutes of your PT about every hour.  This works for me when all week long, my seven and a half hour days elongate like crazy and involve a LOT of driving.  Otherwise, I'd be a total puddle of pain at night.

2-4
"I was inspired by the very idea of turning the wildest figments of your imagination into something real and creating a life for yourself." - Ken Ilgunas

12/11 Failed Bilateral BHR by Dr. Schmitt  3/14 Positive Metal LTT for Nickel Allergy.   11/14 Bilat Ceramic/Titanium Revisions.

blkhank

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #13 on: March 16, 2012, 08:35:02 PM »
Thanks 2-4, I actually do PT exercises when ever I become uncomfortable . It's kinda cute I was doing some step exercise while holding a horse for someone, and by the third time the horse was going front and back ,and side to side. But I will do them every hour. Thank you.

hernanu

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #14 on: March 16, 2012, 08:54:14 PM »
Hey Hank, every one of us has had setbacks at one time or another. The usual cause is overdoing it since we feel good. It's your body's way of tapping softly on your shoulder  ::) . The thing to do is to lay off what caused it, then be patient with the recovery from the setback. This is the kind of stuff that can't be rushed.

You'll get there, you are no fraud, you are just confronting something most people don't deal with - a long term recuperation from a major operation to fix a debilitating disease. You'll be fine, be patient with yourself as much as with your body.
Hernan, LHR 8/24/2010, RHR 11/29/2010 - Cormet, Dr. Snyder

WTW15

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #15 on: March 16, 2012, 11:10:52 PM »
I think his auto correct wrote a fraud but he meant afraid - to return to work.... 
I am so surprised to see this kind of set back at week 10.  I am at week 8 and thought I was out of that danger-zone.  Thanks for the post Hank - it will help me keep my perspective. 

Hang in there -  be good to yourself.  I just have to keep reminding myself this is a journey not a sprint.  hard to do when we start feeling so good. 

Thanks everyone!
Successful LBHR 1/19/12 Dr. Cynthia Kelly
Fear causes Hesitation and Hesitation causes your worst Fears to come true

mslendzion

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #16 on: March 17, 2012, 01:07:47 AM »
Hope tomorrow all is well.  I've moved funny and ended up sore for days. Resting helps me.
Left BHR 1/9/12 Dr. Schmitt

Two4One

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #17 on: March 17, 2012, 01:27:33 AM »
LOL, Hank!
Quote
It's kinda cute I was doing some step exercise while holding a horse for someone, and by the third time the horse was going front and back ,and side to side. - Hank

2-4
« Last Edit: March 17, 2012, 01:28:24 AM by Two4One »
"I was inspired by the very idea of turning the wildest figments of your imagination into something real and creating a life for yourself." - Ken Ilgunas

12/11 Failed Bilateral BHR by Dr. Schmitt  3/14 Positive Metal LTT for Nickel Allergy.   11/14 Bilat Ceramic/Titanium Revisions.

blkhank

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #18 on: March 17, 2012, 02:14:24 AM »
Thanks WTW15, it was auto correct and I meant afraid. I actually cleaned my stalls today using a feed bucket so I could use the crutch.Of course it was a lot of trips to the manure pile. Maybe I'm burning more calories thanks everyone I do feel better.

blkhank

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Re: Post-op depression sets in
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2012, 10:31:14 PM »
Hi everyone, my set back has now lasted for a week,it so sucks. I watched video of the surgery on u tube this weekend to humble myself. It worked I'm just so mad at myself, and now I don't know how to tell if I'm over doing it because I felt great when this happened.

Today I can walk with less pain,I haven't needed pain meds for the second day. I talked to my Dr.'s PA today  and had her extent my return to work to the 5-16 instead of 5-2. I so hate this, i need to go back to work I'm by myself and the only income.I think I can swing 2 more weeks.

I let my job know that I may need a crutch/ cane to get into the building, I walk about 8 blocks to get to the area I work at. I have not at this point been able to stand and walk small distance yet for 8 hrs. There is no light duty at my job.I feel like such a loser.

I had no choice, I had to have this surgery,I couldn't walk or enjoy myself,so I have no regrets. But I have lost my patience. Deep down I know its going to get better but the weather in Cleveland has been in the 70's and 80's and I can't do anything I'm afraid to " over do it" I 'm just watching all this yard and barn work pile up and take more time to get it done.

I wished I healed better,now I'm gaining weight which really isn't helping. So advise don't over do it. Thanks for letting me vent again,I know o need to stop this  ;D

 

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