Hi bosoxgordon,
I had yet to post here but felt compelled to at least say hi after reading your post. Your experience is the most similar to mine (by far) I have yet seen. I am 41, male, have two lovely little girls, active lifestyle, studied martial arts for fifteen years or so (more on that in a minute), was initially diagnosed with sciatica (7-8 years ago), PT, diagnosed with severe arthritis of the (right) hip, and met with a local surgeon who supposedly did both HR and THR but doesn’t really and (if I am to be honest) lied to me about the pros and cons of THR vs HR. That last disheartening experience with the local surgeon had a fantastic silver lining. It convinced me that I needed to follow the advice of everyone on here and consult one of the big surgeons. I straightaway mailed my application to Dr. Gross: he called me back like clockwork the next week (I must have acted like a twelve year old schoolgirl when he called, I was so excited). I am now scheduled for HR with Dr. Gross in mid-April and (sort of) wish it was tomorrow.
I’m posting because you asked for responses from people close to your age facing this decision (though I haven’t yet had it done). You asked how people decided to pull the trigger. Proximate reason was my bad experience at a local Boston surgical consult (I’ll show him!). Ultimate reason is (like many/most people here) a combination of a million different things, but the big ones would be wanting to be more active with my kids, finding it very difficult (sometimes) to even carry my two year old for even a minute or two (and I thought nothing of lugging around two sheets of 4’8’ plywood less than three years ago), wanting to golf again, not wanting to miss any more work because due to pain I could not waIk or sleep the previous night, knowing my hip was getting worse and at an accelerating rate (like circling the drain) not wanting to be a grump to my wonderful wife anymore (well, at least not anymore than I was before the OA got really bad :-)).
You posted a later question/concern about the success of the device Dr. Gross uses. I also had this concern. There was a link somewhere on this website that had some Australian stats that mentioned the “Recap” in one of its annual summaries. Not sure this is an “apples to apples” comparison of what Dr. Gross uses, but the “Recap” revisions were 4.3% and 6.0% at one and three years, a little worse than middle of the road for the devices listed for those periods. Obviously Dr. Gross is not included in those stats at all and his own results (particularly with the latest cementless femoral component) are stunningly successful. Any concern I have for the Australian stats (which are at a minimum not “apples to apples” [cementless femoral component, for instance]) are wholly obviated by the confidence I have in Dr. Gross. You know what I’m talking about, having met him. I just spoke with him, and read his web-site. I will admit that I am concerned (a little) about what a revision will entail with a less common device that may be under or unsupported down the road. [I want to caveat the whole preceding paragraph by saying I could easily be wrong about some of that; I don’t profess to be an expert, just trying to figure this all out].
My last comment (sorry for the semi-hijacking) is just an observation that it seems to me that an aberrantly large percentage of the younger male posters here study or studied the martial arts for a long period of time. This is obviously not a scientific sampling but it is very suggestive to me. Clearly martial arts are terrible for your hips. While I was diagnosed with arthritis (of some kind) of the hips (and elsewhere) thirty years ago, I clearly now have FAI. I think that FAI coupled with martial arts (and hockey, other things) tore my hip up. Do you have a suspicion on yours? I apologize if I missed it in your posts.
Mike
P.S. I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide to do!