I Am So Frustrated I Could Spit Nails.

[katekosar]

Let me not whine.  It would take a book.  I am SO FRUSTRATED.  It's been almost a full year.  I thought I would be well into my Ironman training program by now, but I ended up DNSing a sprint tri in Ocala this past weekend because my !@#)(&#@%Y& hip won't cooperate.  And I am MAD.  At me, at my leg, at the powers that be, at the hospital, at the doc, at all the angels and archangels, the WTC organization, my husband.  (especially my husband.  he is safe to be mad at.)   

Sometimes the bureaucracy is just simply absurd.  Try to call for an appointment for a month.  A lady doesn't know how to make an appointment.  The woman is not in.  The woman is in but she's meaner'n hell.  The PA doesn't pass along messages.  The cortisone doesn't work.  The regular doc doesn't know my history at all.  I need a scrip for a thingamajig for a leg length discrepancy. Back to square one.  Ad infinitum and nauseum.  Now the latest.  The flippin hip doc is gone the entire month of April.  And doesn't refer.  Holy Freakin Ned.  Another MONTH??  If I hobble around at the local 5Ks, will I break the damned thing altogether?

Thank you for listening. 
I WILL BE IRONMAN.
I may be eighty years old when I do it, but I will do it.
Sigh.
End of rant.

Kate

[MaryEllen]

Hi Kate,
I don't know your story, but I can sympathize with your frustration.  For me it's only been 4 months post-op, but I can't run two days in a row and it makes me very angry and sad. I know... far cry from where you are, but frustrated nonetheless.
I totally admire you in your Ironman quest. You'll get there.
Mary Ellen

[hernanu]

Well, here's the place to rant, kate. Sorry you're frustrated, what's the hip not cooperating with?

[Luanna]

Excellent rant. One of the best I've read in a very long time. Let it out.

I am as curious as Hern. What about your hip is not allowing you to make the kind of progress you want for yourself? Has something been identified as the problem?

Luanna

[katekosar]

Thanks you guys.  I knew you'd get it.  There are so many little pieces to the puzzle.  It's hard to keep them all straight.  Here's the big ones:

~~ my left hip socket is so sore.  It hurts.  I'm back to flopping down the last foot on the potty.  And I have to grab onto the back of the john to get up again.  It's like losing 8 months of progress.  The PA said he'd make an appt to make sure there wasn't "imminent failure" but then never did.  Am I running around with imminent failure?  Sure not a real great vote of confidence, is it?

~~ sometimes there is pain running up my butt.  And then it hurts to walk.  I was actually back on a cane last week for a few days rather than hop and hobble. 

~~ the PT said I had a leg length discrepancy and stuck a lift in my right shoe.  The lady who did my orthotics confirmed the discrepancy but said she needed a scrip from the hip doc to build up a running shoe.  The hip doc is gone till May.

~~ the general practitioner is a dolt.  We had one earlier, but he misdiagnosed my husband's congestive heart failure for asthma and almost killed him.  Seriously.  So I signed on with this weird lady who wants to talk about how her hair fell out when her mother died and how I need to reduce salt consumption.  WTF.  So now I'm going to have to see another new physician to get past the hair-falling witch with the low-salt diet.

~~ I know I have lower lumbar issues but you gotta go to a back guy for that stuff.  And the pain management guy won't inject you without a ride home.  And DH is in FL.  No injection, more sick leave for the back guy.

~~ the physical trainer lady doesn't know her stuff very well and I'm in to her for four hundred bills paid in advance.  Don't ask me why.  I thought it was a good idea.  She insists on putting me on machines when i wanted whole body stuff.  I'll just have to suck it up.

You want more?

(oh sigh, all I want to do is swim bike & run.)

whine and whine and whine and whine.

~~ kate

[Arrojo]

kate,
I am confused.  Have you had a hip resurfacing?  If so, how long ago? If not, well, I can understand the frustration with a crappy hip.  Screw the GP and PT.  Find an experienced Hip Resurfacer and make an appointment, pronto.

[katekosar]

Yes, left BHR 04/27/2011.  Almost a full year.  I've been trying to do Ironman for sheesh seven years now?  This new hip thing is my last and best attempt at a so-called "team" of medical guys & trainers to get me to the IM start line.  Abject and abysmal fail.  Sigh.  Everything I read about goal-setting fails to account for the fact that I never even seem to get out of the chute before another hip-related issue takes me out of commission.   (And let's not even begin to talk about the shoulder degeneration, okay?)

~~ kate

[obxpelican]

Kate,

Hey, I had to look back on your earlier posts to figure out who was your surgeon, I see it's Dr. Brooks, I am kind of shocked, I've heard very positive things about him.

Any chance of you gettin a 2nd or 3rd opinion?  You could send your x-rays to another doc.


Chuck

[katekosar]

Pelican, I'm not faulting the doc himself, but rather am a little freaked out about his lack of availability and the fortress within which his staff has him walled.  I've been shunted from one PA to another, given one good dose of cortisone, and despite repeated caterwauling to his staff on my part over the last few months just never seemed to be able, apparently, to raise enough hell to get in to see the good man.  Then this morning when I finally did get ticked, the sec'y started accusing me of making up sh*t.  Curt and abrupt.  It was fugly and he is totally unavailable until May.  By May I will have blown two half marys and two sprint tris.  Might as well hang up the season.

Brooks doesn't know anything about my issues.  He was never told, and I can't get in to see him.  Such is the Cleveland Clinic.

In any event, my intent here is not to disparage the doc.  It's to get on about my life.

~~ kate

[hernanu]

Sorry to hear that, kate, but Chuck's point is good - maybe you can go see someone to just do the XRays and ship them to someone else on the list here (Dr. Bose, Dr. Gross...?) that could look at them and rule out issues with the implant. That way you could look at other things (bursitis, ) and get those taken care of.

I'm surprised that other docs at that clinic can't at least look at your hips to see what the deal is.

[obxpelican]

Kate,

No problem, I'm glad it's all good with Dr. Brooks, we have some happy hippys who have gone to Dr. Brooks on this forum.

You could still get a 2nd opinion so that maybe you'll know what is going on inside there.  Sometimes a 2nd set of eyes is a good thing.  A PA is not going understand what Dr. Brooks did inside of you.  It's sort of a waste if you ask me.

I'm glad you are able to vent and wish you well.


Chuck

[David]

Kate,
Doing your first Ironman is difficult...
Recovering from this major HR surgery is more so...
Trying to do both at the same time is tantamount to climbing two mountains...
Be patient.
I've done a number of IM's and am hoping to do at least one more post BHR, but I know it will be difficult with the proper training, and am ready to say no if my body says no...
Don't get too pissed off too soon...
David

[Dan L]

Kate;

I can certainly relate to the difficulty dealing with the bureaucracy of the Clinic, it has often been difficult to get simple things resolved over the many years I have dealt with them regarding serious health matters with family members and myself; at times akin to the death of a thousand cuts.

Really sorry to hear about the frustration and inability to be back doing what you clearly love to do, that is one of the most difficult aspects of this recovery process for sure, so I hope you get there soon.  It is really, really difficult to be patient and wait, struggling with that now 5 weeks after the second one.

I do have to ask though, is it possible you're getting ahead of yourself a bit on expectations of where you should be inside of a year out?  My home going instructions for both mine with Brooks from October 2011 and 5 weeks ago say this (verbatim, emphasis from original)

"21.  Prevention of Femoral Neck Fractures:
.....

(c) Continue these precautions for one year:

    i. Do not lift objects more than 40 - 50 pounds unless seated.
    ii. Do not run, jump, do heavy labor, or any other activity that puts a lot of stress on your hip joint.
    iii. Avoid being overweight.  If you are make every effort to lose weight.
    iiii. No leg presses.  No stair master, and no strenuous exercise.

(d) The first year after surgery is for range of hip motion and muscle toning but NOT STRENGTHENING. "

I know that is more conservative than many of the doctors in terms of post op restrictions, and I do not know if you are following the restrictions, but on the off chance you aren't-- with the risk of a failed BHR then a THR and more difficulty towards your ultimate Ironman goal-- is it reasonable to be ready for a big event at this point?

It seems you're so close, that perhaps a bit of time for more healing might help shorten your path to where you want to be.

Hope this gets better soon,

Dan

[obxpelican]

I would MUCH rather see someone being conservative rather than really agressive.  I've read where fools on other forums posting these miracle recoveries where people were doing heavy duty stuff 6 or 7 weeks post-op.

Folks, those who try that are foolish, although I respect that it's their right to be foolish.  You get one shot at a hip resurfacing normally, if it fails most often you get a THR.

OTOH, Kate is almost a year out and she should not be where she is currently.


Chuck

I know that is more conservative than many of the doctors in terms of post op restrictions, and I do not know if you are following the restrictions, but on the off chance you aren't-- with the risk of a failed BHR then a THR and more difficulty towards your ultimate Ironman goal-- is it reasonable to be ready for a big event at this point?

[katekosar]

I want to thank everyone for your kind and encouraging words.  They really help.   

Today I am seeing the arthritis guy at the Clinic.  I will show him the xrays of my shoulders (also degenerated) that I had taken a while back and which are now magically ensconced on a CD.  Amazing! 

[Side note and another of my nails to spit:  hopefully the arthritis guy can turn me on to something for pain relief other than NSAIDS.  I went in to Mme. Hairfall to see about cymbalta, which has an FDA approval for arthritis relief, but HF had taken me off of BP meds earlier and then said she couldn't prescribe cymbalta b/c it causes BP to spike.  Sheesh.  So put me back on BP meds already.  No way, she says I should do a whole battery of gastroenterological testing to determine the state of my belly from the NSAIDS.  Would it not be simpler to change the scrip, madam?]

Great idea to maybe take and send some current hip xrays to another hip doc but wouldn't that kind of be an affront to my own hip doc?  I don't want to be a PIA about it, but I do want to move freely.  I'll ask the arthritis guy.  I don't have any current hip xrays other than the ones taken over a half a year ago for my follow up.

And in response to the "too much too soon" thing:  recognize that I've been pretty consistently observant about those extremely conservative rules, moving from a walker to crutches to a cane and then to a 20 minute mile, and now ~~ TA DA! ~~ down to my presently very speedy 15 minute mile.     The thing is, I can't pick up speed until the pain is gone and I can do intervals.  My intent was to dovetail the year wait with being pain-free.  The fact that I've waited a whole year and am still in pain is a total bummer.  A violation of trust.  Like I was schnookered, y'know?

My next effort at a sprint tri is the weekend of May 5-6 at Las Vegas.  Am still hopeful that I'll be miraculously patched up and/or well medicated so that I can schlump through the thing in one albeit disjointed piece.

Anyway, thank you to everyone for your insight and your kind words.
Hope springs eternal!

~~ Kate

[obxpelican]

Kate,

If your doctor is going to be out for the month of April and you want to do some running/biking and swimming early May how will you be able to get answers and then subsequently fixed without seeking out another doc?

You really only have a few choices, seek other opinions and treatment or just wait till Dr. Brooks is available, but then that will be a month or more away.

Personally if I was given the run around that you have been given I would have already found someone else, life is too short to live in pain and if you can't get answers that you deserve and pay for I say it's time to look elsewhere.


Chuck

Great idea to maybe take and send some current hip xrays to another hip doc but wouldn't that kind of be an affront to my own hip doc?  I don't want to be a PIA about it, but I do want to move freely. 

[blkhank]

Hi Kate, I'm sorry to hear that your getting the Cleveland clinic run around. It really doesn't matter how good the Dr.'s are if you can't see them. My clinic Dr. for my back said after 4 mos. of pain and injections he didn't know what to do for me.

Went for a 2nd opinion on my back. Had to wait for 2 mos.for an appointment. I called everyday to get a same day appointment .I got in about 2  1/2 weeks. He said I had back issues but he though something more was going on in my hip,because of the groin pain I was complaining about for 5 mos.

So once again I waited 2 mos for the third opinion on Dec.1 2011. She said I had about 6 mos. left on my hip and needed surgery ASAP. So again I'm waiting another 2 mos for a appointment with a surgeon. Dr. Brooks I couldn't see till the end of march 2012. It sucks horribly to be is so much pain. And I work at the clinic for 20 yrs.

I found another Clinic surgeon who got me in the OR Jan 6. Luckily he has a PA who assists in every surgery , and gets back to you with in a day. So hang in there,they will back to you hopefully before summer.