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The Hip Talk Discussion Forum was hacked a few weeks back. It has taken me a long time to fix it. The only backup I could use was way back to April 2020. All members and posts up to that date are available. Anything newer has been lost. I am sorry, but that has been the only way to get things up and running again.

Author Topic: Counselling  (Read 10052 times)

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Anna

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Counselling
« on: October 11, 2012, 06:02:12 PM »
Hey,

I know this is probably more of a personal issue that people may not want to talk about in fear of being categorised as crazy ... but, well I think ive always been in that category so here goes ...

I was just wondering whether anyone had recieved counselling to help cope with the hippy life. Im not one for complaining and winging all the time .... in Yorkshire we give ourselves a slap and tell ourselves to get a grip but, well this time I just cant seem to pick myself up. The slaps are just not working nd all this hip stuff has really hit me hard over the last couple of months. One would have thought that after six years of waiting, id have got used to the idea by now. Perhaps its the increased pain and a few other stuff in life .....

Anyway, im not really one for sitting down and talking about my emotions and feelings (Its alot easier hiding behind a computer screen!) but I feel I need to do something. Has anyone had any counselling? What are your thoughts and feeling of it all? Did it help or will it be a waste of money? I have an image of me sitting in a room with a complete stranger twiddlng my thumbs surrounded by an awkward silence.

Anna
RTHR - 08/08/2013 -Mr johan witt, London

OtterDriver

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Re: Counselling
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2012, 06:39:53 PM »
Hello Anna!

Sorry to hear you're not having the best of times! 

I can't really offer any advice on your topic other than referring to the similarities in seeking a professional for hip issues.  I would imagine one would want to seek out counseling from someone with an impeccable track record and plenty of experience.

That's not to say that you actually need counseling...maybe just a visit to someplace warm and sunny!?  Isn't Yorkshire kind of gloomy on occasion?

Keep a stiff upper lip!

Bruce   ~8^)

lycraman

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Re: Counselling
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2012, 07:47:36 PM »
Hi Anna

I'm no expert in this sort of stuff (another typical Yorkshireman!) but if you've reached that stage and want to talk to someone professional then I am sure that your GP could put you in touch with someone.  Most of the GP practices in York are pretty good at links with that sort of thing if I remember correctly.  If you want someone to have good blather at then I'm happy to listen and talk over a pint one day.  I'm doing nothing at the moment (except walking and walking) and have started to drive the car short distances (don't tell Mr Treacy) so 30 miles to York is no problem.
I did all my pre-op counselling with my physio once a month who talked me through all the ups and downs of the procedures whilst she inflicted pain but keeping my hips and spine in the best shape and as loose as possible before my op.  I was lucky though and had a straight forward case and I'm also old enough to be your dad so the decision was much easier.

Don't suffer on your own.
Left Birmingham Hip Resurfacing
11th September 2012
Mr Ronan Treacy 54mm head 60mm cup

imgetinold

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Re: Counselling
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2012, 08:03:56 PM »
Anna,

I'm not necessarily qualified to give advice.  But.....

I don't think there's anything wrong with seeking counseling if you're depressed.  It helps a lot of people, and its nothing to be embarrassed about.  Like Lycraman said, your GP should be able to refer you.

Something you might consider doing is to journal (is that what you'd call writing in a diary in the UK?).  Specifically, note what you're thinking when you're feeling down, and why you might be feeling that way.  Over time, you may see a pattern emerge. If that pattern happens to be hip pain, or sad because you're inactive.......well, then.....maybe that will give you a better context for your decision about surgery and when to do it.

Just a thought.
Andy - Right Biomet uncemented HR with Dr. Gross on 1/11/2012......GO BOILERS!

hernanu

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Re: Counselling
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2012, 08:28:52 PM »
Hi Anna. I had counseling at the same time I had both hips done. It wasn't for the hips and all that went with it, but for a divorce that I was going through.

Have to say that I thought it really helped me with both the breakup issues and the hip issues. I hit a stretch of depression and anxiety about that time, probably contributed to by both.

The counselor was very good, the advice he gave me for my recovery helped me immensely. I think just being able to puzzle out some issues with someone who is not emotionally invested in you, but just listens is great. I know if I went to my family with some of the problems, they would have gotten worried, I would have felt guilty... well, you know.

I was just as leery of counselors as anyone. I've always been friendly but about personal issues, a very private person. I found out that just as it took every one of us time to decide on surgery, it took me time to realize that going to a counselor is not a verdict of crazy. It's just another doctor who can help us get to the right spot. I still see him once a month or so. It's sometimes needed, often not, but helpful.

Overcoming the onus against counseling is not unlike the onus on having this type of surgery. People are used to their definition of being strong. My answer to that is that it seems the more I live, the more adversity I've faced, the less I care about people's definitions of what's strong. They are not in my shoes, I'll love and respect them, but they can keep their boundaries to themselves. I'll do what I need to do.

Seeing your bright spirit here, why wouldn't you want keep that by using counseling if it can help you shoo away a temporary cloud?  Go for it (in my opinion).
Hernan, LHR 8/24/2010, RHR 11/29/2010 - Cormet, Dr. Snyder

Anna

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Re: Counselling
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2012, 10:20:16 PM »
Hey, thanks for all your responses. Its getting quite warm and fuzzy in here  :)

I dont want to go to my GP with this one. I dont want it on my records. I may seek out some private counselling though. I just feel that I need to sit down, have someone to talk to and work some things out. Family and friends just dont seem interested and I think have probably heard enough about my hips. I swear they roll their eyes at me everytime I mention them!

Theres some good ideas floating round though. A diary may be a good idea ..... a holiday would be even better. I havent been away this year as ive put everything on hold to see what was happening with my hips. I didnt expect everything to take so long. I may try squash a little holiday in once I know what is going to happen and I have a plan. I havent had the best few weeks, its been a time where everything in life has been falling apart .. work, relationships .... and perhaps im just a little exhausted. Ive been a bit of an idiot and really over done it on my mountain bike last week (Its the only thing that gets me out and cheers me up at present so I think why not - the hips buggered anyway!!) I dont know whether ive done damage or my hip is just tired but its never hurt this much. Ive been surviving on 3/4 hours sleep due to the pain which for a girl who needs at least 8 - 10 is not very good. I think thats what has made me close to breaking point.

Lycraman, that drink sounds good ... and dont worry, I wont tell Mr T! Did you have alot of physio pre op? I didnt think about doing that. I can get some very good free physio through my work so I may line that up.

Thanks again guys. You are all ace  :)

Anna
RTHR - 08/08/2013 -Mr johan witt, London

Jason0411

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Re: Counselling
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2012, 07:11:27 AM »
Anna I have been away twice since I buggered my new hip up and you would not believe the difference a week in the sun makes both physically and mentally. I come from the Tropical Far East where the sun is always shining but found escaping to Portugal for a week was just what the head and hip needed.
Get yourself a last minute deal and escape, mind you, you might find it hard to find a place brighter and sunnier than Yorkshire this time of year.
I think counselling is a good idea but then again I know it isn't face to face but this forum is not bad for letting it all out.

Jas
RBHR Mr McMinn 6th December 2011.
Tripped and crushed head under cap 31st January 2012.
Self repairing.

Spanielsal

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Re: Counselling
« Reply #7 on: October 12, 2012, 07:36:36 AM »
Hi Anna

I really think a bit of counselling would help. The stresses pre op and the loss of your ordinary life and abilities are hard things to deal with. The holiday is an ace idea. My hips were very happy in the sun this summer, it was hard to travel but it was worth it. A bit of distance from your problems, a new perspective, warmth all good. Just make sure your travelling companion wants the same activity level on holiday, all the good stuff will be overshadowed if you feel the big "I can't".

I'd also really recommend the free wheelchair service through the airports too.  It meant that we could shop in the airport and I didn't cry all the way there! Whilst a young active person doesn't want to step into a wheelchair willingly, it's a means to an end and its not permanent. Folding walking sticks are a godsend too. Pulling it out of your bag when needed, it clicks into place and the support from the stick will relieve some of the pressure going through the hip joint.  I know having walking aids is also another step that young folk who have been very active shy away from but they are temporary too. 

It's very tough, Anna, especially at your age. We are all struggling to come to terms with what has happened to us, a counsellor will help that be smoother for you. Like Hern says, it's just another doctor helping you get to the right spot.

Sending you hugs, 14 days to go until Mr W!
Xx
I'm a Hippy Hybrid!  L HR Cormet 2000 - Mr Villar, 12th June 2003 and R Corin mini hip - Mr Villar 7th August 2012

Anna

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Re: Counselling
« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2012, 08:48:52 AM »
A holiday it is then ..... for medicinal purposes. I think thats a good excuse  8)
RTHR - 08/08/2013 -Mr johan witt, London

rubyred

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Re: Counselling
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2012, 02:27:17 PM »
Hi Anna,

I really wish we lived closer :(

I had a bit of counselling, both private and NHS funded and I have to say the private was more beneficial, I only stopped because of the 35 an hour price tag. I found it particularly helpful because I really needed someone who wasn't in my inner circle as I felt they had put up with my moods enough and in the end I found it (and still do find it) difficult to approach my family/friends with things. Having someone completely neutral, who really wants to help and actually cares was great and I really opened up to my shrink.

I've actually looked into going back to it because it was the only time I really felt in control and calm about things.
LBHR - 9th August 2012 - Mr R. Treacy

Welcome back to life.

Anna

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Re: Counselling
« Reply #10 on: October 13, 2012, 08:32:20 AM »
Me too Ruby!!! Im London bound on Monday night and was gonna ask if you may be around for lunch on tuesday but I couldnt say for definate as it depends what time I get back from my appointment. I will text ya  :)
RTHR - 08/08/2013 -Mr johan witt, London

rubyred

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Re: Counselling
« Reply #11 on: October 13, 2012, 12:02:54 PM »
Me too Ruby!!! Im London bound on Monday night and was gonna ask if you may be around for lunch on tuesday but I couldnt say for definate as it depends what time I get back from my appointment. I will text ya  :)

Oh awesome! Absolutely, let me know :) x
LBHR - 9th August 2012 - Mr R. Treacy

Welcome back to life.

 

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